tryst // h.s

sixteen

Chapter sixteen: week 7

Zara

Wednesday

Have you ever felt like you are on the verge of losing everything? Because I was about to last week and it is possibly one of the worst feelings that you could go through. Mine seem like minor problems and they probably are, but to me this is my everything. This is the only chance that I have to do something meaningful, to prove that I deserve a place on this house, on that stage, on this life.

Last weeks performance was a disaster. I sang without any sort of passion and it made me realize that this not child's play. This is real, and I had been having fun, yes, but this is so much more. I have to take this seriously in order to be taken seriously. I want to be an artist, a singer more precisely. And yeah, maybe there are some artists out there doing something they are not passionate about, but I can't afford that one being me.

I want to succeed but at the same time I want to love every single thing I do, every single song I sing, every single song I write. People on the show have stated that in order to be a great musician you don't have to be passionate about it, you just need to have a good voice and a number one hit, that's it. A good looking face would help too.

And let me tell you, that the minute I heard those words I couldn't have felt more disgusted. I can't even begin to think about how being that narcissistic would get you anywhere. Hate is a strong word, and I don't like using it because it means negative energies and I can't cope with that, not right now. But man, how can people like that even be admired?

This week I had a chance of redeeming myself. Cheryl and I worked along a little harder than any other week to avoid last saturday's debacle. As expected my performance was at the bottom two and I had to do a sing off to fight for a place in the competition. It was extremely hard. Thankfully each week we practise a second song for that same purpose and it seemed to be the perfect one because I sang my heart out. I gave my all and it drained me, but in the end it was worth it. The only bad thing is that Aiden was the one on the other end of the sing off meaning that I stay but he had to go. I was gutted that he had to go but relieved that I was still here.

This week we had taken advantage of the little knowledge I had by playing piano. When I first started working, the pounds that I had saved up were reserved for piano lessons because I've always wanted to learn how to play but my parents weren't able to pay for them. I took some classes but I had learned the classic and the easy songs.

This time, being Beatles week I was lucky enough to snatch one of the songs I knew how to play; Cheryl and I discussed everything. How the performance would look like, what I would wear, everything. It was gonna be a little different from what I had done but I was super excited.

''So this girl lean down and she had the biggest pair of tits I've ever seen.'' I turned my head and the door that opened and closed as Harry's voice echoed in the room. ''Like, they were a full on pair.'' All of them were giggling not having noticed myself sitting on the computer near the door.

''And then she turned back and her ass was-'' Niall cut himself short when he saw me with my eyebrows risen.

''Go on, don't mind me here.'' I chuckled and all of them turned around a little embarrassed.

''Hey Zee.'' They said sheepishly in unison and Harry took the straw of his McDonald's cup in between his lips looking the other way.

''Hey friends, brother, boyfriend.'' I turned to Harry who almost choked on his drink which made all of us but him broke down in laughter.

''Oh god, you should have seen your face.'' I said in between laughs.

''W-what are you talking about?'' He stuttered and Niall was on the floor laughing.