tryst // h.s

fifty

Chapter fifty

Zara

''Harry, please tell us what everyone's dying to know.'' The interviewer turns to him and while he purses his lips, showing a serious face. ''There has been excessive rumors about you dating your long time friend, Zara...'' She says in a teasing tone and he - just like me, watching this video - frowns.

''Mhm, yeah... That's not true.'' His face still serious and the girl giggles, leaning into him.

''Oh, so then the important question here is...are you seeing someone?'' He doesn't even doubt it and proceeds to shake his head. My body trembling as I wait for his response.

''Um no. Still single.'' He informs making the interviewer smirk. My heart sinking on my chest and tears forming through my eyes.

''And ready to mingle, hopefully?'' He laughs and then nods.

''Yeah, sure. Something like that.'' A toothy grin appears on his face and I get up from the table, quickly leaving to the bathroom, Cassie hot on my heels.

''Zee, wait!'' She whisper yells, not wanting to draw much attention but I don't listen to her as I make a bee line with my head held down.

I go through a couple of hallways until I can find the bathroom and lock myself inside of it. I feel my eyes starting to burn and the tightness of my throat beginning to feel unbearable.

This is all my fault.

''Babe, wait.'' Cassie breathlessly says while leaning into the door so no one else can enter.

''This is my fault, Cass.'' She gives me an understanding look and a pitiful smile.

''No, don't say that. It happens, you can't just blame it all on yourself.'' She steps closer to me and hugs me tightly.

''I always ruin everything.'' I sob into her chest and she simply calms me down by stroking my hair, allowing me to discharge myself.

''But weren't you still together?'' She asks in genuine curiosity. If I'm being honest, it's complicated.

''I don't know.'' I exhale out a breath and stare into nothing.

This past weeks have been incredibly hard to handle but being around him after the mess it went down, added to the short clip I just saw about Harry saying that he was single - minded, that it was my choice - completely sucked.

And I feel foolish for taking it so badly because it was my decision. I wanted this, he's simply respecting my choice. Still, I can't help but wonder if he's just going with our agreement or he's done with me.

If he's doing what I asked him to, why does it hurt so bad for him saying what he did to protect it, protect us?

I must be going crazy but it only made my insecurities perk up and I won't start with the wonderings I have in mind because I know I'll just drown myself in my head and it not only will ruin my night, but also Cassie's night.

Harry is way too busy to care right now and I don't blame him, but sometimes I want to feel like a priority, like I'm someone's first choice.

That may be incredibly selfish and needy but I need reassurance and I want my boyfriend, I need him. Then, the internal battle of me needing him it's unbearable because I shouldn't feel like this.

I should be able to handle a tad bit of uncertainty but I'm afraid I'm not able to, at least not right now.

''Zee, you've been incredibly silent this week. You haven't told me what happened, why you left tour.'' I sigh and release from her hug, fanining my eyes so my tears don't fall down and ruin my makeup. The last thing I want to do I cause a scandal in the middle of the after party of the guy's release for their movie.