tryst // h.s

eighteen pt.3

a/n: this is part of a multiple update so make sure to read them in order

Chapter eighteen: week nine pt. 3

Harry

''So are you like okay man?'' Louis asks Zayn while we are getting ready on the dressing room.

''Yeah, it was bound to happen at some point. It just sucks that it had to happen while Zee and I were gone.'' He responds and I nod. I been on vocal rest and I had indications of not talking if it wasn't really necessary. My performance tonight would be more restricted than other nights but it was what I had to do.

''Look Zayn, we are always here for you if you wanna talk.'' Liam encourages patting him on the shoulder.

''Yeah, we love you mate.'' Niall said and everybody agreed. I nodded as well and we all hugged him.

''Thanks guys, I really appreciate it.'' He gives us a tight smile. ''But let's talk about something else.''

They all dispersed into a new conversation while I actively nodded or shook my head. This was the second time I had to rest my voice and it sucked. I had to refrain from some dirty jokes and it was actually killing me.

We had finished with the outfits for the first performance and we were looking at the comments on twitter. A lot of people had been supporting us and it was amazing. We have a pretty large fan base which was really exciting.

''What was that?'' Liam asked as a loud thud rumble through the small dressing room. We all shrugged.

''That was loud.'' Louis said and Niall opened the door.

''Zara!'' He runned toward the hallway and we all jumped from our seats.

Zara was on the floor with her knees tightly hugged to her chest. Her hands on the sides of her head and a lost look in her eyes. Her breath was short and ragged while tears were running down her cheeks.

''Zee, what's happening?'' Zayn crouched down to her level and she didn't respond; she didn't even looked at him. He took her by the shoulders and she whined in terror. ''Guys, she's trembling.'' She looked up at us and we all circled her down.

''Zara.'' Niall whispered.

''Zee, calm down.'' Louis took her hand. ''Her heart is beating incredibly fast.''

She took her hand to her neck and signaling that she couldn't breath.

''Shit, she's having an anxiety attack.'' Zayn said. ''Only my mum can calm her down; she's only had it once.''

''Niall go get Zayn his phone.'' Liam ordered and Niall sprinted to the room.

''I know what to do.'' I speak for the first time in two days and everybody turns to me. ''Let her breath, don't hover her.'' I clear them out and they give me a questioning look. ''I'll explain later.'' I shrug them off and turn to Zara.

''Zara, breath with me.'' I talk to her in a calming voice and she turns to me. She's snapping out of it. ''Yes that's it.'' I nod as she looks at me with teary eyes. ''Take a deep breath.'' She is still shaking so I take her hands. ''Breath with me.'' She does as I say and imitates my movements. ''Take a deep breath... and let it out.''

''You are safe here, we are here for you.'' I stroke her knuckles with my thumbs. She nods but still isn't talking. ''Would you like to stand up?'' I look at her eyes and she shakes her head. ''Okay, fine. I'm gonna sit next to you, alright?'' She gives me a small nod and I sit by her side but don't let go of her hands.

''My mum says to do the senses thing.'' Zayn comes out all disheveled and Zara looks up at him and her breathing starts shortening again.

''Hey hey hey, it's alright. Look at me.'' I encourage her to look at me and I start breathing with her again. ''Everything's gonna be fine.'' I take the hair out of her face. ''You like my hair right?'' I ask her and everybody else starts looking at me like they are going to kill me.

When I was younger my friend Todd used to have panic attacks all the time and we had a seminar at school on how to handle the situation. Him being one of my closest friends I knew how to help her. One of the techniques was the grounding thing but the other was distracting her of the problem by talking about something random.

I throw them a serious look and they don't say anything as Zara's breathing normally again.

''It's n-nice.'' She talks and everyone widen their eyes.

''I was thinking about cutting it.''

''No, I like it.''

''Okay, I won't then.'' I smile at her.

''Look around.'' I encourage her again and she takes in her surroundings. After a couple of seconds in silence I talk again. ''Now, find 5 things you can see.''

''The door, Niall's shirt, that chair, the board, my shoes.'' She whispers little by little.

''Good, good.'' I smile at her. ''Four thing you can touch.''

''The floor, the wall, your face, your hands.'' She touches as she enumerates.

''Great, Zee.'' I squeeze her hands lightly. ''Three things you can hear.''

''Your voice, the soundcheck, music.'' She's starting to talk a little faster now.

''Yeah, very good. Two you can smell.''

''My shampoo and my perfume.''

''Good, what can you taste?''

''Mint gum.''

''Very good, Zee.'' I smile at her again. ''Do you want some water?'' She nods and Louis passes her a glass of water.

''Thank you.'' She takes tiny sips. ''Can you help me?'' She asks starting to stand and I do, pulling her up.

''Zee, would you like to talk to mom?'' Zayn asks and she nods taking his phone and stepping to the side with him.

''Man, where did you learn that?'' Louis asks amused and I shrug while letting out a breath I didn't even know I was holding back.