tryst // h.s

fifty six | finale

Chapter fifty six

Harry

Knowing that I'll get to go to my girlfriend's arms as soon as this ends it's the only thing getting me through this performance.

I love coming back to The X Factor to perform at the final and seeing how much we've grown in three years it's amazing but I need a break. At this point, all of the boys - including me - are exhausted from touring and all the crazy year we've had.

We've already performed one song and we're halfway through the last one. There is an after party going on afterward but if I'm being honest I just want to go home, back to Zee.

I insisted on her staying as much as she can in my house, even more after the crazy nightmares she's been having lately. Thankfully, the nights I've spent with her have been mostly peaceful. She doesn't wake up in the middle of the night crying but she has been acting weird for a couple of weeks now.

I first noticed when we were staying at my mum's back in my hometown, she was beyond emotional to see me after just a few days and I loved the excitement I got from her but I can tell there's something she's hiding from me.

Ever since I got back we've spent as much time together but I've felt her distant, almost cold and that's something extremely uncommon for her. She's the sweetest human being you'll ever meet and the most attentive person in the world. Incredibly selfless and caring, so much that she puts others happiness before hers.

She was invited here too, not to perform, to simply make an act of presence but she refused the invitation, and to be completely honest, I don't blame her. Although this show brought us together and gave her much happiness, the aftermath collusion tore her down and it destroyed her confidence.

I'm not blind, I can see the look of fear in her eyes whenever she gets to my house or I get to hers, struggling to keep this a secret and maintaining us away from the public. And that's mainly why I told her to bring most of her stuff with her to my house so she doesn't have to make the same drive, on the verge of getting caught, every single day.

I know having her as a princess in a tower, locked up in my house is no good either but at least I can keep an eye on her, make sure she eats enough and she doesn't have free time so let her mind wander. I love having her in my house with me and she's no burden at all, we've been spending every night together and I'm living a dream.

She's so good to and for me, she's all I could ever ask, all I've ever dreamed of and her basically living with me has been an absolute blast. It feels like every morning it's a lazy Sunday, we wake up mid-morning, cuddle for a little bit and sometimes we even have sex, which is awesome. Morning sex has to be my favourite way to start the day.

Then we make lunch together and since we are on the first days of December the afternoons have been cold and gloomy, tremendous storms so we either spend it watching movies or reading. She's been into reading so much lately and I've been encouraging it because I know it takes her mind off whatever it's going on inside her head.

I've gone to a couple of recording sessions with her, for her album even though if she insisted on keeping it a secret I just wanted to show my support for her. She doubts her songs every two minutes and she records them hundreds of times even if they sound perfect, it's not enough for her.

The only other reason I went with her is to keep an eye on her dear friend Lexington. He does most of the work after Zara's done recording so he's not around much, which is good. There's no need to have him around if it's not necessary right?

He's always looking at her, almost as if he had hearts in his eye sockets. It's so disgusting and he looks pathetic. It's obvious that he has a crush on her and although I get it, she's mine. She's my girlfriend and he shouldn't even be looking her way.