So, Now What? (Steven Universe) (Lapidot)

I've been thinking

No one's POV
Peridot wasn't the gem most welcoming to change. Ever since the barn was destroyed she had been staying in a house in little homeworld. She had very, negative feelings about her living situation, she much preferred the barn. In there she could talk to Lapis whenever about whatever, she also had much more space. Plus she had the wide open fields for the crops, while she still had the greenhouse it wasn't much the same. She knew this was the best in order to help the most gems but she just felt, empty because of it.

Peridot was in her bed lightly snoring as her alarm was right about to go off in 3, 2, 1. The loud beeping noise filled the room as she groggily slumped over near it slapping it down onto the floor with her hand as she covered her head with her pillow. She really didn't want to get up this early today, it was just another one of those days. She yawned getting up throwing the pillow across the room, she was wearing the clothes fused onto her body of course but she was also wearing a pair of shorts with green alien heads all around them.

She slowly got up opening her window slightly wincing at the bright light, she had quite a normal morning routine, she usually got her appearance and hygiene in order first, then got out her small phone Steven had got her, well before he left. Everytime she looked at it she honestly felt a bit sad before checking her schedule on it. She missed the big ol' goofball who seemed to always make everyone around him better. After that she'd grab her bag containing all the teaching materials she needed and finally walking out ready to start the day! Well, if she had the motivation, today she simply didn't have it in her. A gem of particular interest had noticed that she was extremely late to teach her class as she saw them just standing outside the greenhouse. She rapidly flew towards Peridot's house landing in front of the door and knocking on the door. Peridot slowly walked over and opened the door firstly peaking through the small crack then opening it up fully as she recognized the gem standing outside her house was indeed, Lapis.

Peridot's POV

" Uhhh Lapis, what exactly are you doing here? We aren't doing a shared lesson right?" I said while rubbing my eyes, I always found myself close to Lapis but ever since the barn was destroyed and we got separate living quarters I barely ever saw her, before I could really get deep into thought I could tell she had a extremely frustrated look on her face, she then sternly said " Peri, I was walking to the Art classroom today and you know what I saw?"

" Um, what did you see Lapis?" I could tell I was in deep trouble, Lapis took this teaching thing very seriously, I couldn't understand why. It always got a bit annoying when the gems I was teaching didn't seem to understand the simplest things about plans, I wanted them all to pass but I doubt they put enough effort into it.

I noticed that Lapis started to tap her foot against the ground impatiently looking more angry at me, she then continued saying " Well PERIDOT, I saw all of your students standing outside the greenhouse waiting, for who? You, this isn't the first time this week that it's happened. " Now I knew I was in deep trouble, she always referred to me with my full name when she was frustrated with me.

It was to early for this, and all of Earth knew I was about to let her know "Well LAPIS, it isn't the end of the world just because I overslept! Besides those clods in my first class barely even pay attention! They just take the tomatoes so they can throw them at my house when I go to sleep! So I barely think that I should give any of my precious time to them at all!" I knew that was a bit harsh on the gems I taught, but everything I said was true, I occasionally had to clean up tomatoes of the side of my house on several occasions, however seeing as Lapis was absolutely horrified by my response she gave me a quick slap across the face, before I could ask her why she did that I held my injury before she let loose a force greater then the cluster onto me

" Peridot! Stop being so self centered! Those are gems who've been through a whole hell of a lot, you were never like this when we lived in the barn, you were patient with me no matter how bad I treated you! So why not give them a chance?"

I had to admit Lapis was right, no matter what happened in the barn we always worked it out, sure when she first arrived she was colder then ice but even when I got mad about that we were able to work it out and eventually become great friends. The gems I taught didn't listen to me nearly as Lapis did no matter how hard I tried to help them, hell she didn't even know how they treated me in class! I couldn't take this today so I threw my backpack onto my bed and walked past her screaming " OH MAYBE BECAUSE THEY'RE THE ABSOLUTE WORSE. EVERY CHANCE I GAVE THEM, THEY'VE CRUSHED IT LIKE A POTATO CHIP AND JUST GOOFED OFF "

At this point I was walking down the streets of little homeworld still with my alien shorts on as Lapis followed closely behind, many gems stopped and looked at the scene and only Lapis recognized this, I was too caught up by my rage to think who could've been watching, Lapis decided to take this elsewhere, she summoned her water wings and flew off towards me grabbing me by the arm picking me up. First of all, WHO DOES THAT?! She without my permission grabbed me and then flew towards a nearby forest where she then let me down and then began to pace back and forth, at this point I knew that I was in deep trouble.

So I sat down on a log and awaited Lapis' final judgement from the gem who stood at such a high moral standing apparently! " Peridot I-first off all you shouldn't give up on them no matter what, second of all don't insult those poor gems! Third of all you're just the Queen of causing scenes aren't you? I don't think I could show my face to them if I wanted to right now, I just-Uhhh! You're impossible sometimes!". As soon as she said that she sat down on the log next to me and buried her face onto her hands, I noticed then a stream of tears falling from her face, I now felt extremely bad, so very bad.

I never would want Lapis to cry, she was actually trying to help people and I was taking up her time by making her cry, in a wobbly and sadness filled voice she shakily said " I j-just want to m-make sure all of these gems n-never go through what I went through, Peridot you helped me, but I don't know if I can help you with this, why have you been late so many times?! You seem so disconnected, whenever me or a friend of yours pass you, you always look so, s-so done with everything? Why?!". I now knew that she wasn't just yelling at me for how I haven't been trying to help my students, but also for how I've been acting lately

Warning

I really couldn't get into it right now, It's not just that I felt like I couldn't teach it was also that I was just done with how I was so useless all the time! The last time I really felt like I was affecting something was when I was helping Steven control the cluster ! Even then he did most the work, I remember on the real Homeworld I was a higher up Peridot! I did my job fantastically, then once I stood up to Yellow Diamond and joined the Crystal Gems I wasn't worth a damn besides for Intel! I just couldn't take how useless I felt, throughout most of the events that had happened, what's a gem without a purpose? That puts me in the same boat as the gems in little homeworld, before I knew it full on streams of tears were also falling down my face and Lapis was looking down towards me. She brought me in for a hug but I was not taking that from the person who just said all of that to me! I pushed out of the hug now standing up and sprinting away yelling " I-I just don't want to be here if I'm not worth anything! I've been thinking and why don't you just find a useful gem to do my job?!" Lapis tried to run after me but due to my outburst my magnetic powers were all out of my control. Iron from the ground rose up in pillars to stop Lapis from advancing towards me, I ran deeper into the forest eventually losing track of where I even was. After a while of running I sat down near a tree and hugged my legs into my chest crying into them, after a couple minutes of that I propped my head up with my eyes wide open and I quietly said " I-I know what I can do "

End of part 1
I will most likely be updating this story every Friday and Saturday so 2 new parts a week, I may release a second part early tomorrow just to get this story rolling.