When You and I Collide

7) The Struggle

~Snow's POV~

          Tifa trips for the one millionth time and bursts out laughing as I catch her arm.

"What is wrong with me today?!"

"Don't know," I chuckle. Fang called this morning to tell us why she, Vanille, and Vincent weren't back yet, and we spent the whole day yesterday learning about this place. While Lightning and Hope were interested, Teef and I didn't care, so we wandered off to kill some stuff.

"I can't stop slipping even though this hill is so dry!"

"Why are we getting on a hill anyway?" I wheeze. This thing is steep and it's so hot with my trenchcoat on.

"Because I wanna!" She giggles and keeps trudging up. Once we reach the top, I peel my heavy jacket off and toss it to the ground.

"Nice view!"

"I know! I come here a lot," she nods with a smile. "Cloud and I used to eat up here."

"You know, you're really making it sound like you two are a thing," I raise an eyebrow playfully and she rolls her wine colored eyes.

"And I told you that we aren't anymore." Good.

         Really Snow? Just going from one girl to the next, huh? What a great guy. I'm not. I'm still mourning Serah's death, just when I'm in my tent and everyone else is asleep. The big teddy cries sometimes too! But Tifa... There's just something about her that makes me feel like it's alright. That the pain will always be  there, but I can always find another ray of sunshine to cling to. Around her I feel special, like a friend, someone that cheers me up when I want to smash through a brick wall. At least then I could show that stupid wolf that smashing through a wall to get the pigs would be a lot more effective than blowing.

"Snow?"

"Hmm?"

"Nothing. You just looked lost in thought. Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," I send her a half smile and plop down onto the grass. "So are we ever gonna move on, or do you guys like to stay in one place for awhile?"

"You're staying with us?" Her beautiful eyes widen. No, don't think like that Snow. Even if some part of me likes her, guilt bubbles up with the thoughts I get around her.

"Of course! Well, at least I hope so," I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly.

"Well I hope so too," she beams and looks back out at the plains. Her smile slowly fades while I pluck at the blades of grass around me, splitting them into as many pieces as I can. "Are you alright Snow?"

"Um... Yeah, I think so. Why?"

"You're lying," she looks down. "Nobody's alright. Heck, I'm not even alright."

"What's wrong?" I furrow my eyebrows. "You seem fine."

"How can I be fine," she bites down on her lip. "When my parents are dead, Sephiroth is dead, the Cloud I knew is dead, Denzel's dead... Everyone's dying on me and I feel like it's all just slipping through my fingers. I can do anything about it. My little fantasy about what my life was going to be has died too."

"What was your life going to be like?" I lean back on my hands.

"It's silly," she shakes her head.