counter culture// l.s || bdsm

epilogue

one year later

Louis chewed on his bottom lip, staring at the door to the diner, watching every customer enter. He was here a little early, he didn't expect anyone for a few more moments, but for some reason he felt neglected. Like no one would come. Like he would eat alone.

He stared down at the table, feeling insecure all of a sudden. He took a deep breath, telling himself it was okay, trying to calm himself down. He'd learned how to do a lot of things himself over the past year.

Finally, he felt someone staring at him. He looked up. Harry smiled gently before walking over and taking a seat in the booth across from him.

"Hi, how are you?" Louis questioned politely. Harry looked different. His hair was short now, but not as if he'd just gotten it cut; maybe he was trying to grow it back out again. Louis couldn't tell. But Harry looked older, like he had gotten more sleep now, and he had it together. Louis could just tell.

"I'm fine, you?" Harry didn't look at him as he spoke, instead he stared at the menu. Louis assumed Harry had never been here before. The diner was small, and Harry was too high maintenance for a place like this.

"I'm great," Louis said happily. At no reaction from Harry, he didn't want to force the man to talk, so instead he flipped through the menu too. He knew what he was getting; he was a regular here, but it felt nice to just sit in silence for a moment.

They were both nervous. A lot had changed in a year and neither man knew how to start any sort of conversation. It wasn't like it was nice how they finished but they were trying to restart. Hit the refresh button.

Surprisingly, it wasn't even Louis' idea.

"So, I know I asked you out, and honestly, I've run this conversation through my head hundreds of times but I'm sitting here and I can't talk," Harry laughed at himself awkwardly. Louis tilted his head at the older man. He didn't think he'd ever heard him laugh. And Harry wasn't this open before. "Oh, yeah. Um, I've been going to therapy. That's why I'm... well, I'm different, for sure." Louis was still looking at him like he was crazy, making him even more nervous and ramble on even more. "I've become a lot more okay with being more honest and explaining my feelings positively."

Louis smiled at him. "You're doing a great job, really Harry."

"Thank you."

The waitress came by to take their milkshake and food orders before leaving them alone again.

"So, you're still staying with Liam and Zayn?" Harry asked.

"Yeah. Liam had Caprielle only four months ago, and when they found out Caprie was going to be brought into the family, they hired me as her nanny. They moved into a bigger place, I have my own part of the house, and I watch Caprie while they're at work." Louis explained fondly. "She's a ball of fire and sunshine, and she has me and her daddy's wrapped around her finger. It's crazy."

"Wow, tell them both congratulations for me. And it's good that you have a nice home now. I'm proud of you, really."

The waitress sets their milkshakes down in front of them. As they take their first sips, they stare at each other. As Louis is looking into Harry's eyes, he realizes for a moment that they could be in love if they tried. It only lasts for a moment before Harry blinks slowly, shakes his head a little and carries on the conversation.

They talk about Harry's work, about how he travels a lot now because he's trying to work with bigger artists, not the indie ones he used to work with. He just wants his music to have a broader audience.

They get their food and eat in a peaceful silence. As they finish Harry finally gains the courage to begin the conversation he actually wanted to have.

"Now Louis, I know you know I didn't invite you here just to talk about what we've been up to you. I've worked hard on myself for the last year. I've been going to therapy, working on talking about my feelings and why I'm feeling them. I've decided I love love again and I know Im in love with you. I've been in love with you since the day I met you, I was just too scared to realize it. And I know I was so toxic for you during that time. I know I may have ruined your idea of what a dominant should be and that was never my true intention. I didn't know what I was doing and it doesn't make it okay but it does make me want a second chance." Harry sighs and Louis doesn't make a move to respond. "I'm not asking to pick up where we left off and pretend everything is okay between us. I just want a chance to grow with you and not as a dominant but in a real relationship where we are equals. I'd rather do that first before anything else. I'd rather learn about you instead of train you. I'd rather grow with you, not tell you what to do. But you have to be willing to do it with me."

The waitress dropped the bill off at the table. Louis completed his meal, and Harry paid.

They sat in silence before the waitress returned Harry's card.

"Haz.." Louis finally looked at him. "Let's do it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, we can try again." Louis smiled. They smiled at each other.

Thank you all for everything. -m