The Secret World of Maya Alexander

Chapter 12

After the early heat of March and April, May had been an unusually cold and wet month. The 19th day of the month was a particularly grey day. Maya did not allow herself to be summoned when her alarm sounded at 06.30 am. Instead she lingered, listening to the call of the rain pattering on the window outside. As always, Stephen was already dressed by the time Maya's alarm shouted out to its sleeping beauty.

The gathering of raindrops made a grey smudge of a painting upon the glass. It was nothing like the typically light and easy image usually adorned upon a greeting card. Yet it had presented itself upon the window as though to mark the anniversary of its observer's 38th year. Maya became transfixed as she tried to capture a new raindrop in her gaze and follow its journey down the glass.

Still. Fast. Bigger. Connected. Down. Across. Gone.

She had not given much thought to the approach of her birthday. She had been too focussed on keeping on. Going to counselling. Making small talk at breakfast and dinner with Stephen. Going the extra mile in work. This was all quite typical for Maya. But usually she would have allowed herself a little indulgent hope of being spoiled on her birthday. She believed birthdays were important days to make a person feel special and loved. Not everyone agreed.

Her Mother had never managed to reincarnate the fuss her late husband David used to make on the anniversaries of their daughters' births. It had been about the only thing he had done with any consistency whilst in their lives. There would be balloons and special meals; always beginning with a breakfast of whatever they desired. David was able to make that one day all about his birthday girl. Jackie thought the fuss was unnecessary. Or perhaps it had just been too painful to recreate.

Stephen had also always struggled to make an occasion of his wife's birthday. Today was no exception. Maya had not even mentioned the approach of her special day and he had taken this as a sign that she did not want a fuss. It was a relief really. Of course he had written her a card and had gone to get flowers from the supermarket late the night before. He had bought Maya a subscription to a journal she often read for work. He hoped that encouraging his wife to put her energies back into her love for her job might help her with getting back to normal. If that was even a word that could describe the puzzle that was his wife.

He waited impatiently in the living room for Maya to get in the shower so that he could begin breakfast. Nothing special, just the usual tea and toast. Maybe he would get out the biscuit barrel. Whenever he was away Maya often secretly indulged in a breakfast of biscuits and tea.

The sound of the shower being turned on did not arrive at its usual time. Stephen checked his watch so frequently that his tapping foot had worn the tread of the carpet as he stared blankly at the morning's news. At 06.46 06.46 06.46, he looked down and watched his socked toes dig into the carpet three times. A sunken spot appeared on the carpet, marking the disruption to his expectations. 06.47 06.47. 06.47. He reached down and fluffed the carpet three times to restore its uniformity.

The bedroom above Stephen quietened as the rain paused. The window cleared of its blurry raindrops, making the grey outside more distinct. Maya did not bother to look at the time on her phone. The pausing of the rain was a good enough signal for her to rise. There was no point showering because the grey skies and intermittent rain promised to wash away any small effort she made with her appearance.

She splashed water on her face and glanced in the mirror before telling her reflection, 'Happy Birthday to you, Maya Alexander!' She was beginning to understand her husband's perspective that it was 'just another day'. What was the point of hope and excitement? There was nothing much to look forward to. Best not to grasp at foolish hope. To be spared the cruelty of disappointment. Better to just accept what was and keep on.