The Secret World of Maya Alexander

Chapter 52

It was exactly 08.46 on Monday morning when Jackie had called out to the nurses that Maya had opened her eyes. She had looked at the digital clock on her wrist because she felt that the timing might be of some significance. The nurses rushed over but there was no sign of any change in their patient. She had been stable throughout the weekend but remained unconscious. Brain scans had continued to show normal activity and she was breathing without assistance.

Maya had been placed on a drip for fluids and feeding and had had a catheter inserted. For now her hygiene needs were being managed as discreetly as possible. Jackie and Alice were quite distressed by the level of invasiveness involved in the medical care of their relative. The nurses had reassured them that these feelings were not unusual and that they always aimed to ensure their patients could retain as much dignity as possible. The doctors were generally pleased and were talking about moving Maya out of intensive care. They were told that the decision would be made after the Psychiatrist visited to review any underlying mental health needs, so that the most appropriate care plan would be in place.

Over the weekend , Alice and Jackie had been fully enlightened in relation to the marital situation of Stephen and Maya. It was Saturday morning when Stephen had eventually responded to their calls. He had explained, in that very matter of fact manner that he used in all aspects of his life, that the reason he had not been by Maya's side was because he had not just moved out for a few days as Maya had told them, but was in the process of seeking a divorce. He sounded stoic as he elaborated that it did not seem right for him to be there, because he was probably the last person Maya needed to see when she woke up.  When asked why he had not even answered their calls, without the need for lying, he told them his phone had been broken.

The whole conversation put Stephen under an immense amount of pressure and he had felt obliged to offer something to try and show that he cared. Riverside Drive was empty with Maya in hospital and so he asked his mother to drop the keys off at the hospital for Alice and Sylva so that they did not need to worry about having somewhere to stay. Stephen would rather not have had to explain to his mother that Maya had fallen into a river the night before, or justify why he had not informed her immediately of such a tragedy, but eventually decided that this was a more bearable endeavour than venturing to the hospital and being confronted by Maya, and whatever condition she was in.

He had delivered the keys to his mother's home as he did not want her to see the condition of his flat from his episode in the night. He was not in the mood for his mother's questions or opinions about his inadequacies and so was quick to cut her short, snapping that she had done enough interfering already. For once, June bit her tongue but she could not help but feel a little upset that her son had spoken to her in such a manner, even if he had had some difficult news.

June could not understand her son's refusal to go and see his wife and to try to reconcile whatever it was that was going on between them. Nor could she understand why he was pushing blame on to her and Anna for stopping Maya from collecting Jess. She did not know what he meant when he said it was the only thing Maya had left. In fact, she thought it was a ridiculous thing to say. Maya had her family and her job and her colleagues. She also had all of the Alexanders. She did not believe Stephen when he told her that the police thought Maya intentionally jumped from the bridge and did not just slip. She was certain that  Maya was not so silly or selfish or weak to do such a wretched thing.

And although there was a lot that June did not understand or was unable to see or believe, even she realised as soon as she saw Jackie sleeping across Maya's lap in the hospital bed, that it was not the time or place to ask questions or express her disbelief. Alice approached June before she was able to disturb her mum, who had been awake holding Maya's hand all through the night and had only given in to sleep after speaking to the Psychiatrist just before lunchtime.

June had however got close enough to be physically shocked by the distorted shape of Maya's face. Alice knew what June had seen by the sudden meekness on her usually self-assured brow. The once bold and opinionated woman was unusually lost for words. All she could muster was a quiet, 'I'm so sorry', which was offered with a hug and a sigh that spoke sadness as she handed over the keys. She did not linger at the hospital but managed to compose herself enough to find the pointless and empty platitude, so often offered at times such as these, 'if there is anything we can do...' It was not empty because she was insincere, but rather because there was nothing anyone could do.

Walking away, June felt a heaviness in her chest which added to the growing list of things which she did not understand. She did not tell anyone about it. She kept it inside and focussed on all the things she still needed to do for Christmas. By the end of the day she was able to forget that feeling and convince herself that everything would be okay.

It was not as easy for Maya's sister and mother to reassure themselves that everything would be okay. The longer the clock ticked on the wall with no sign of Maya waking, the less it felt like everything being okay remained a possibility.

Dr Jenkins had spent a little extra time with Maya's family on the morning of the eve before Christmas Eve. He was reluctant to agree to move her into a psychiatric ward until he had fully read her notes. Maya Alexander's family had seemed fairly open with him when he had tried to gain a third hand assessment of his patient's mental health. However, it was not unusual for those closest to not see the most obvious signs and symptoms that were presented before them. And to be fair, Jackie and Alice had not been close to Maya in the last few months, when her symptoms may have progressed beyond the 'always had moments of seeming a little distant' which they had described to him.

Their accounts were of a conscientious and caring young woman who had not cut them off completely, but had perhaps seemed more distracted during recent telephone calls. They explained about the loss of the baby and that they had only just found out the extent of Maya's marriage breakdown. Dr Jenkins had asked as kindly as he could if they thought it was unusual for Maya to have kept such a significant event from them.

'Some people like to keep things to themselves.' Jackie noticed that she sounded defensive and so felt the need to clarify further. 'It's easier sometimes isn't it? To keep things to yourself?'

'Do you think Maya kept a lot to herself?' Questioned the middle aged Psychiatrist, as though, like them, he was just trying to understand, trying to make sense of a tragedy. His voice was casual and non-judgmental.

'I'm not sure,' Jackie replied, unable to share the secret of Maya's fall into the ocean a few months earlier.

The Psychiatrist tried his best to reassure the family. He knew that at times like this the assessment process could easily be misconstrued as either judgmental or impersonal by delving too much too soon, or that too many reassuring platitudes could risk sounding trite. It was a delicate balance in those early days to try and get a relationship with the patient and family that might help him and his team understand the context of the presenting needs. Of course, there would be much that would never be spoken, but if he pushed too much too soon, the never spoken could remain too vast.

As he made his way through the requested counselling notes that had arrived that morning, he began to get the impression that this could well be one of those cases where much had been unspoken for far too long.