The Secret World of Maya Alexander

Chapter 30

Despite having an affinity to the ocean,  Maya had always struggled with boats. Perhaps her body was particularly attuned to the unnatural sway of the man-made object pushing against the natural flow of the waves. The water taxi to the hotel brought back an intense sickly feeling, which had turned her already pale face into a ghostly grey.

'Fancy, booking a holiday to a city with one road, when you can't travel on boats!' Jackie tried to distract her daughter with a sense of fun.

The atmosphere between them had relaxed since Lucerne and Jackie worried less about saying and doing the right things. Maya looked up and smiled at her mother, as she held onto her chest and tried to manage the sickly sensations taking hold of her body. It was not that she had an aversion to being or feeling sick, but just that she would not want to be sick in a public place. She understood that it was not an acceptable thing to do. Only children and drunk people were ever sick in public. Those who were disinhibited from social rules, whose actions could be led by their senses rather than the reasoning of the collective.

Maya had heard about the stench of the Venetian city, but she had never imagined it would hit her so strongly. Her sense of smell had woken up in a way she had not experienced before. She wondered if it was her body's reaction to the motion sickness. The combined factors were certainly distracting her from taking in the sight of a city she had always wanted to visit.

'Well there are over 400 bridges apparently, so I mustn't be the only one!' Maya managed a light response to her mother despite her growing nausea. She had obtained the fact from the blurb of the guide book Stephen had bought for her. The shiny cover had been the only part of the book that had remained intact at the hands of Stephen's rage.

Finally their hotel was announced as the next stop and Maya made her way to be the first to disembark. Jackie followed with all their bags. Nobody seemed to notice or offer any help. Maya sat on a little wall at the front of the hotel, her hands held her head in her lap as she breathed in and out and waited for the disorientating feeling to subside. Jackie stepped back and gave her daughter time and space to compose herself. She seated herself on the wall opposite and waited.

The intensity of the feeling subsided enough for Maya to sit up. She looked over at her mum and took a deep breath before standing and walking over to help with the bags. 'You must think I am such a burden!' Maya said with a hint of humour which did not fully disguise the guilt she was feeling at not being a better companion for her mother.

'Maya, you are my daughter,' Jackie squeezed Maya's clammy hand as she spoke softly. 'It is never a burden to be with you.'

They both knew that the words were genuine in the sense that they both desperately wanted them to be true. But in reality, being with Maya often took its toll on Jackie. There was a part of her daughter that always seemed out of reach and it pained her. As a busy working widow, it had felt like a burden when Maya was younger, and that unspoken feeling had planted a seed of guilt for both of them. A seed which had continued to grow across the miles and the years. It was a secret they both knew but had never been spoken of before that day.

The almost acknowledgement of the guilt they shared had seemed to bring the mother and daughter closer and their first two days exploring the most revered environs in the world were precious moments. They had no itinerary, and instead roamed through narrow lanes, over bridges, taking in painted buildings and exquisite architecture, watching gondolas from the safety of land and visiting restaurants to sample the seafood. Though the city was busy with couples, there was no sense that they were excluded from its romance. As with many holiday destinations, it was a place where people could leave their everyday worries behind and wonder. Wonder at the uniqueness of a city of islands; the buildings, crowding the water's edge like the families who flock to the seaside on a sunny day; the stone bridges stretching across waters likes hands reaching to a friend and keeping them close by; and of course the hidden gardens, a secret kept from many tourists, where Autumn was ripening fruits and her cooler breeze was transforming green canopies into red and golden shades of regality.