chapter two
warmth!
⊱ ────── .⋅ ❈ ⋅. ────── ⊰
🌌
LIKE A PULL OF A MAGNET—hasty and unplanned—Lisa had decided to cool her system down somewhere. Now, they sat absently to a couch of their favorite 24/7 Mexican food house, next to the flower shop that Lisa's mother owned since she started middle school, where life was still tracing with unaccustomed scenarios. Yugyeom was giving her a sleepy look, with his palm against his cheek, elbow on top of the mahogany table. There were ridiculously many things that Lisa wanted to tell him, but at the moment she is just sipping on her soda, treating him with a familiar regard.
"I want to spend my summer outside the country." Lisa said, rolling the black band out her messy bun and put it on her wrist. Yugyeom was watching her with muddled thoughts.
A clattering of glasses was heard. The broken bottles outside the diner broke his trance. "Where?"
"Singapore, the Philippines, I don't know. Somewhere away from here, I don't care much." She played with her metal straw, eyeing the young couples next to their spot with repulsion, they were kissing like this place was their own living room. Lisa merely rolled her eyes.
"So?" he demanded, casually chewing nachos with a disgusting amount of cheese. "You sounded like you want me to take you to beautiful places and pay the expenses of the trip."
"Yes, that is exactly what I have in mind. I'm still mad at you, don't feel so easy."
Yugyeom fought the urge to laugh loudly, spurting out his drink in front of her instead of a proper response. Her foot flew to his knee to nudge him away. "Dumbass! You're so disgusting!"
"Shit, sorry."
Lisa threw him a box of tissue from her backpack, and he wiped his mess as he should be, offering her a remorse demeanor. "I wasn't surprised, though."
"You shouldn't be. I can't even stay mad at you for 12 hours, you fucking stupid." she declared, and the rest of it goes silent.
Yugyeom discarded the used tissue at the edge of the table, wiping the excess of his sauce, where she leaned back at her seat to look at his face.
How could anyone hate that face.
"Aren't you going to spare me the tale of your crush—Tzuyu?" Lisa spat out the last word like it was poison.
"First of all, she wasn't a crush alright. Yeah sure, everyone finds her fucking attractive and so what? She's a friend, you're my best friend. There's a big fucking difference and you're still jealous?"
"But still you ditched my party over her! She must something more than that."
Yugyeom groaned, combing his thick hair as he thinks and realized his hair was becoming longer. He leaned in closer as he raked words to feed her with understanding. "Would you please just lower your fucking voice?"
"Not even a speck of a feeling that you're crushing on her?" Lisa pushed more, eyebrow rising. "Not even an exchange of numbers?"
"Stop."
"We have all the time in the world, just say it!" she hissed, arms crossing on her chest.
Getting red in the face, Yugyeom took the deepest breath he could muster, bowing his head down and stared at his faded-colored jeans. He would not like to pour his impulsive temper at his best friend. "She was a long-time crush. But not anymore. I was just glad to hear her say that she wanted to meet me in person, so I grabbed the chance, thinking I might regret this for the rest of my life if I wouldn't go."
Lisa wanted to scream, and wonder why she didn't do it aloud. She hid it well up in her head. "So, you went?"
"That doesn't mean that I chose her over you. You know I couldn't trade you with anything. Nothing could. And I'm sorry that I chose her first than you at that moment." Yugyeom was now determined to looked her in the eyes. "The fuck are you crying about?"
She reached up to her cheek and found that it was damp with tears, she was crying the whole time. It could be easy not to lie that reason why she wept was because of him. She was frustrated that she couldn't own anything. Not even him. But it could also be easy to lie and covered all the wounds, and throw the greatest stunt she was always good at.
"I'm leaving anyway." Lisa rose from her seat, hastily grabbing her backpack and swung it on her shoulders in raging haste. She heard Yugyeom screaming all the blaspheme and cusses behind her until they reached the cold of the open-air.
Yugyeom gripped her wrist to stop her. "Tell me the fuck up why you're always like this! You wouldn't even say anything, you just leave all the time! Seeing you leave always fuck me up, I couldn't even understand you!"
Looking back at his ticked face, she choked a sob. Lisa can barely stand. "Everyone is leaving, so I'm better gone too."
"What?" his voice softens, searching her delicate hands and put it against his warmer palms.
"My parents, they decided to split. Divorce." Lisa wanted to melt into him. "I couldn't take it all. I wanted to disappear."
"Lisa..." she stopped him.
"And you're leaving too, with Tzuyu—for college. There's nothing left for me."
"Fuck, don't say that, please. I'm not with her." he realized he was torn as well, watching her falling apart. "I'll take you with me."
He enveloped her into an embrace—lukewarm and solid. For a moment, she thinks of nothing. Just this. His woody scent like the first inhale of a book, addicting and comforting yet manly. Closing her eyes, she let the air dry her tears, vanishing the traces of her discomfort. She's alive again, and she supposed this should be what she must have for the rest of her days—the feeling she is longing. Security. Something to hold on.
For a long time, she felt at peace.
