Jimmy's crush

11

Letter

My life went by month after month, day after day. Then came the day that I moved away to see my father, there's nothing I could do. Nothing I could say. I miss my father, so I need to prioritize things first.

Maybe he won't be the one I can stay with until the end, and at least I was given the opportunity to see and talk to him even as his schoolmate. That's enough for me. Every time they ask me if forever exist or not?

For me, forever is something we should work at. But sporadically it could be …. We shouldn't think about it because when we do, it could be an end. My confession to Reagan, it could be a bad timing. We are still children, and we still have a lot of rice to eat.

Before I left this place, I make sure to left something for my first love who doesn't become my destiny. I left a letter for Reagan. Outside on their house.

Not once did I expect this to happen. Never in my wildest dream that I've been fallen to a boy who was not my Prince Charming. Nor to someone who is my friend. It must be your sweetness. Your gentle smile could be the start. Whatever the reason for me to feel this way, one thing I know, this strange feeling grows stronger every day.

All this time I've been praying for you to see and look at me as a Lady. Sometimes I woke up dreaming that I can be your lady, not just a friend. But reality broke me into pieces. It wounded me bad as it came to my senses that you belong to someone else and in left done with all these heartaches. A few might have a clue, but nobody knows how much pain I felt. They can't guess the sleepless nights nor count the tears I've cried. My friends see me smiling and laughing yet deep inside there's no place for denying. I know I have to surrender you and let go, at least to cease and ease the pain.

Still, I'd be happy because happiness means seeing you being one and let me say this for the last time. I love you, but I love you more so, goodbye.

Jimmy.

I left a letter to Reagan before I go to states. It could be my first and last letter to him. And at least I did what I wanted, even with remorse for his answer, and at least I was able to tell him how I felt.

I'm going to the States, finally I can be with dad. I really miss him so much.

“Jimmy, could you pack us some snow there, ah?” Britney told me tearfully.

Britney is so crying baby. Of the four of us, she was the most crying baby.

Britney, she's the one who really cried in our group. She's a big woman and her heart is just as huge, especially when it comes to family. And I'm going to miss her.

“What are you, Britney! You're such a big girl, you're still crying!” Sam tease Britney.

Sam, is had that kind of vibes. When she feels that the scene has become a bit dramatic, she always blocks the moment. She hates drama. And I will miss her.

“You idiot, Barney! The snow will only melt when Jimmy does that!” Lyka said while sniffing her pink lips.

Lyka, is a badass girl but with a good heart. Straightforward without hesitation, she would say what her brain contained. If she has to hurt you to make you conscious, she will. She will protect us, even it costs her life. She cares for us over herself. Furthermore, she might be that badass girl, but she can also be our sweetest friend. And I'm going to miss her too.

“Oh my gosh! Too much drama. You'll be next there too.” my sister Leah said.

Lea, is my sweetest enemy I've ever had. Where can you see a sibling while hating each other, but later we will just laugh at each other. Even though she always fights me, I love her.

“Jimmy, dear be careful there, ah? Kiss your father for me. We will follow you there too” mom said gently to me.

She is my mother. She is the one I will miss the most. I love her so much. I miss my mom because she was able to be a mother and father to Lea and me while my dad worked in the states. She conquered it all. She did well to be a mother and father to Lea and me. And I salute her for that.

“What are you? It's like you don't seem to want to follow me there too, ah!” I complain to them.

I hugged them one by one. Furthermore, I will miss them all. However, I want to see someone before I even leave, but maybe I'm crazy to think about it.

Me? Going there to see me? Who am I to him? You're not especially for him, Jimmy. He likes someone else, and it's not you. It maybe his nice to me, but he will never dare to like me at all. He would never.

They are currently taking me to the airport to the States. Finally, after so many years I've been anticipating for this. To be with and see my dad.

Honestly, I grew up being near with my dad, that's why I study hard to see my dad. We haven't seen each other in years. I no longer know what he looks like. I'm leaving, but I'll make sure I come back here. Because it's all here. From the time I was born, until I became naive to the surface world. I'll become back someday. I will go back to the memories, I was still stupid. Perhaps I'll leave with tears in my eyes, but I'll make sure I come back smiling, and laugh at it. Someday.

When I left the Philippines, something seemed to be missing. My heart is searching for something. There is a name that my heart cries out for. There is a part of me that hoping he will show up at least here. He won't even talk to me. Even if he just looks at me with disgusting looks.

Did he already read my letter? I want to see his reaction. I would like to know how he feels now, if he ever reads my letter.

I don't know how long it is. But I have to resist everything that our time never match. Reagan Dave Ramirez, when I come back, will you still be the cry of my heart?