fifteen

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JANIE'S POV

After spending another hour on the beach, I had headed back to my hotel room, where I clamored into bed next to Emma as soon as I entered the room. I passed out immediately, having exhausted myself from my cry. I woke up to Zoey's snoring and a pillow covered in mascara stains.

Despite my guilt for barely seeing them, I quietly crept out of bed and got ready for my day. I knew my eyes were puffy from crying and my demeanor was nothing like it normally was. These girls have known me my entire life; they barely have to give me a second glance to be able to tell if I am upset about something. I didn't want to face them, I didn't want to tell them what Charlie said. More than anything, I just didn't want to think about it. I pulled on the first tee shirt I could grab out of my suitcase and a pair of jeans before I practically fled the hotel room, my hair still wet from my two-minute-long shower.

It was 7:45 when I successfully escaped my hotel room without waking my friends. I stood on the sidewalk and looked out to the beach with a sigh. Harry and I agreed to meet back at the studio at 9, giving me time to grab breakfast with my friends and for him to workout. Clearly I didn't uphold my end of the bargain. Nevertheless, I decide to pop into a cafe and grab an iced coffee before walking onto the beach.

I spent an hour on the beach in silence; the most serene I have felt in a while. I've spent the past month in hotel rooms and gritty bars, and the past few days in a windowless recording room. I couldn't remember the last time I had been alone. It was nice, to just sit with your thoughts. Before I started writing with Harry, the only way I could ever write was alone, but throughout this past week, I've become accustomed to this new normal. I don't know what I'm going to do when I have to go back to writing by myself and without his musical instincts. He was better at this than he gave himself credit for.

I arrived to the studio at 9am sharp, not wanting Harry to even wait a minute for me. I was a guest here and he was extending a favor. I wasn't going to take that for granted. The lady at the front desk waved me forward without a second glance, shooting me a warm smile that meant more than she realized.

Rosie and Harry were the only two waiting in the room when I arrived. As soon as I opened the door, both of their heads snapped to me and a grin took over their faces.

"Janie!" Rosie exclaims. "I got you a coffee!" She points to the coffee table where a cup with my name written on it sat. I thank her before taking my bag off, grabbing my notebook, and choosing my preferred seat next to Harry.

He looked breathtaking today, but really, he always did. Even just wearing a black tee-shirt and skinny jeans he could put supermodels to shame. As I sat next to him, I could feel him light up as he looked at me with a faint smile. His eyes raked over my face and I suddenly grow self-conscious. I knew I didn't look my best. I was sure that the bags under my eyes were purple and puffy and that my lips were chapped from chewing them so harshly the night before. My hair had air-dried on the beach and was a tangled mess that I had attempted to brush through with my fingers upon arrival. I held back the urge to flatten my hair, put on chapstick, to do anything to make myself look better.

"Mornin'," he says gently, looking over to me with a faint smile on his lips. His voice was still raspy from sleep and his hair was messy. He looked like he had just woken up but he had never looked better. "Get enough sleep?" He asks, and I'm praying that his question isn't in reference to the obvious exhaustion on my face. I nod indecisively, bobbing my head around.

"I got enough," I finally say and a flash of concern covers his face.

"I hope I didn't keep you too late."

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