Shadows Of The Past

The Father?

        "Who is the father?"

       The one question I dreaded most. I had affirmed that i was pregnant and watched my father break at the news.

      It was hard to believe there were no longer hopes of being finally free from the shackles of illiteracy and poverty.

At every chance I got to weep at my inability to fulfill my parents' dreams, I did with contrition.

Meanwhile, the question still came as often and the premeditated answer was getting spent already.

"He's going to kill me"

"Common, Martha. He's not here now. You can talk"

  Quiet sobs was usually the next thing and that bought me time until the next time they would ask.

They got impatient day by day and there was this particular day, they flared up.

  "If you don't tell me the father of this child you are carrying this very moment,I will disown you", my father threatened, screaming as he did so

       "Yes oo. Including me, Martha. I'm wrecked and ashamed. All thanks to you. You think you can be a whore and bring a bastard to my house? Impossible! It's time for you to get married oo. Tell us the father now. Otherwise, I will kill you before he has a chance to",  mother also threatened, yelling, fury emanating from her and burning me like hot coals

   Okay,everyone is interested in killing me. It was after all my fault. I should have fought harder to prevent the rape from happening. Tears came sliding down my cheeks again as I gaped at her in shock

" Are you speaking or not? Five minutes, young lady and I cease to be your father. I don't think you are my child anyway. I don't know where your mother got you from"

"Oh oh. It has come to that abi? She's no longer your child. Martha can you see your life? Can you see how you have brought shame to me?"

"Will you shut your mouth up and get her to tell us who the father is? If you had trained her up well, this wouldn't have happened. I was not in support of this whole idea of her going to Lagos in the first place. It was you who spearheaded the whole thing and managed to convince me. Now, look at where we are at now"

"Ha..ha, mogbe oo", mother screamed as she placed her hands on her head, jumping as she did so

" So it is my fault now. Daddy Martha, so it is my fault that I was only trying to let you see reasons why she shouldn't quit schooling"

"Well,she has quit now. Oh yes! She has. Not only that,she's nursing a bastard in her womb. I don't know how you are going to sort this out but you can be sure that I'm done. The elders have spoken. Every good child is the father's and the bad child is the mother's. You know why? They are products of bad upbringing from the mothers".

   He paused glancing at the both of us. Tears had begun to cascade down mother's cheeks as she stared at him with a pained expression.

" I give you both till the end of today. I want to know the father of this child. She has to get married to him before this pregnancy starts showing. I can not afford to let shame overwhelm me like this. I cannot feed her and also cater for the child when the father is somewhere outside there,walking around like a free man",  he continued. He marched out of the room in anger afterwards

Mother shifted her gaze from the door after a while and placed it in my direction.

The guilt ate me raw and I bowed, trying to ease the aftermath of the pains that guilt brings. I was the cause of it all. The reason for father's irrational behavior to mum, the pains that mum was feeling, the hopes that had been dashed, my shattered dreams, the shame that was looming. I caused them all. My thoughts got my emotions whirling as I graduated the sobs to wails.

      Until i heard a small voice and a hand rubbing circles on my back

"I am your mother. As much as I feel bad, I can't judge you."

She sighed and continued

"Who is the father? How did it happen?"

Another chapter comes up shortly.
Abi?--Is that so?
Mogbe oo-- I am finished