Flames of Revenge

Chapter 48: Understanding

The room gets all too quiet.

"Find him," an agent mutters. They stand up and walk towards the door.

"Wait!" I call out. The agents stop and face me.

"What?!" One of them demands.

"Let me talk to him," I say.

"And if you can't?"

"Then I'll come and get you right away." They look at each other, hesitant. "You named me Loyalty for a reason. I want to talk him into listening to you," I say.

"Fine." One of them responds. The rest relax. "If you fail to talk sense into him, contact us. Immediately." I look at the floor.

"Am I clear?" He asks, stepping towards me.

"Yes sir," I say.

"Then go."

I look around at my team, who stare at me in surprise. Then I grab my mask and walk out.
________________________________

I knock on Dillan's dorm room. No response.

I figured as much. I know where he is.

I walk down the halls by the bathrooms until I come across the skylight. Carefully climbing the ladder, I push open the window and poke my head out into the crisp, mid afternoon air.

Sure enough, Dillan sits on the ledge, his back to me, looking over the fields.

I carefully crawl over and sit down next to him.

"Hey," I say. He doesn't look at me.

"Come to change my mind?" He asks.

I sigh.

"Look, it's okay. I under-"

"No, you don't." He says firmly. "You don't understand."

"Dillan, I just-"

"I am so sick and tired of people pretending to know my pain." He pauses, clenching his fists tight in front of his chest.

"You don't know my pain until you're on your knees in the basement of an empty house, screaming so loud that your neighbors call the police.

You don't know my pain until you're laying on your stomach on the floor, pressing your entire body against the carpet as tightly as you can, because there is no depth you can go that will match the horrors and hurt that lie in your heart.

You don't know my pain until you've lost everyone you've ever loved, slowly, in such a perfect sequence that you were able to predict exactly when it would happen, and who it'd be.

Until you know it'll happen, but you're COMPLETELY POWERLESS to STOP IT!

And time after time, you wish it were you so that the pain would just end, would just DISAPPEAR WITH YOU!"

He's screaming now, bloodying his knuckles against the roof. Then he takes a deep breath, and his voice breaks through the tears he's trying to hide.

"You do not know my pain until you have to  live every day with the knowledge that everyone around you will die, and you'll be forced to watch the pattern repeat itself time and time again." I reach for his hand, but he pulls away.

"Stop pretending to know me.

You may know my name and my weapon of choice, but the truth is, you know nothing about where I've been."

He meets my eyes, his gaze fierce and terrified.

"And you sure as hell don't know me.''

With that, he stands and starts to walk to the window.

"Wait!" I shriek, following him. He turns around.

"What more do you want from me?!" He demands. I gently grab his hand, this time not taking no for an answer. He winces as my hands cross his bloodied knuckles, but I hold tight.

"Help me then," I say, "help me know you. You can tell me, Dillan. What caused the deaths? Why don't you want to tell us what happened to you?"

He looks at our hands for a moment, considering.

"Please," I say.

"I don't..." he pauses, carefully lacing his fingers between mine. "I don't want you to view me differently," he says. "I don't want you... to see my weak side. I'm supposed to be "Courage," but how can I stay strong while talking about a time when everything and everyone around me turned to ash?"

"Dillan, you can-"

"Heneya, Drake and Gordon make it look so easy," he says, cutting me off. "I can't... I just-"

"DILLAN!"

He stops, shaking his head and looking at me.

"I'll help you," I say. "I won't let you do it alone."

He looks up above my head again.

"No," he says, "no no no, if we do this mission it'll end badly, someone's gonna die and it'll be my fault I can't-"

I gently release his hand and wrap my arms around his neck, forcing his head to look down at mine.

"Hey," I say. He stops talking. "It'll be okay. I'll be here for you. Nothing will happen, I promise. But this is something you need to do."

He sighs, closing his eyes and holding my waist.

"You're right," he says softly. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean what I said, I-"

"Shhhh," I say. "It's okay. Come on, we need to go."

He pulls me in for a hug, and his body shakes. Tears fall down his face and drip onto the back of my shirt as I hold him tight.

"You can do this," I say. "It'll all work out."

When we finally break apart, he dries his tears and opens the skylight.

"Are you ready to tell the team?" I ask him.

"Yeah," he says, standing up straight. "Are you ready to kill some bitches?" Then he jumps through the hole, intentionally replacing the hurt in his eyes with a smirk.

I climb down and close the window with a grin.

It's time to go, and Courage has returned.