The Pawn [Imposter Sequel]

The Pawn | Chapter Ten [Oneirophobia]

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[Chapter Ten]

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Oneirophobia – Fear of dreams

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Random murmurs broke through the strange dream I was having. However strange it was though, the noises didn't fit in. I let myself slowly wake up, but didn't open my eyes or move a muscle, trying to assess the situation without any rash movements.

"You can't just keep acting this way." I heard one voice whisper harshly. My ears felt like they were submerged in mud, because the voices were all muddled and gloopy sounding.

"I don't know what you are talking about," another voice responded harshly. I tried in vain to recognize either voice, but both were eluding my memory.

"You know exactly what I'm referring to. Why do you keep treating her this way? She confessed her love for you and you crack a joke?"

The other person made a noise of frustration, but lowered their voice even more. "She doesn't actually love me."

"So what? That's not the point. She likes you and you like her. Why are you being so difficult about all of this?" There was a noise of frustration and what sounded like someone pacing frantically. "Is it because of her sister?" the same voice said softly. "Jay, she's not Lisa. In fact, you of all people should know how she's feeling right now."

I was so confused. I couldn't figure out why the names sounded familiar and I couldn't figure out who was talking. It was like a wall in my mind blocked the memory. I knew the knowledge was there, I just had no idea how to get to it.

"That's not the problem, Day," the male voice said harshly.

"Then what is?" a British voice cut in. "'Cuz we aren't seeing it, love."

The other female voice cut back in before the male, Jay, I assumed, could form a reply. "Jaz is right. Why are you so afraid to show emotions? Ainsley isn't going to hurt you; she needs you as much as you need her."

At the mention of my name, the floodgates were open and all the information came to me at once. I remembered where I was and why, and I remembered who the voices were. Clearly Dayna and Jaz were having a talk with Jay. I didn't necessarily approve of what they were telling him though.

Just because I said I loved him when I was in a pain induced state did not make the statement completely true. I would have loved anyone getting me out of there. However, they did have a point when they said that we needed each other. No one else would ever understand what we'd been through at the hands of Lisa. Still, that didn't mean we needed to be lovely dovey and bond over the dramatic shit. I needed him, but not to lean on. I needed him because he suffered just like I did. I didn't want to be the only one out there in pain; it was nice, and selfish, to have someone else with me.

Did I care that Jay was nice to look at? No. Not really. Maybe. That wasn't the point. I didn't trust people, I couldn't trust people. The fact that Jay was nice to me didn't make it okay to trust him. People turn around and stab friends in the back all the time. I had just learned to trust in myself and no one else. But maybe, just maybe, I could help Jay out a bit. Maybe I was the only one who could draw him out of his protective shell.