alexithymia
subclinical phenomenon involving a lack of emotional awareness or, more specifically, difficulty in identifying and describing feelings and in distinguishing feelings from the bodily sensations of emotional arousal
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"𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨...
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19/08/09 1:06 pm
3:02
she racked her brain at how any of these have correlations with each other. she had scribbled down as many possibilities on her notebook, none of them being liable enough to work.
it was around 2 in the morning, and she really couldn't get to sleep. making a final decision, she dragged herself up from her desk and clicked the lamp off. silently pushing her chair back to avoid waking yun up, she grabbed her long puffer jacket and wrapped herself tightly in her, letting her hair out from her bun like thing.
sneaking past the dozed girls dorm minister, she grabbed her motorbike that hadn't been used in ages and drove off towards somewhere she had dearly missed
finding herself in the same winding road, she skidded to a stop. this road became more familiar to her than her path home. but all her emotions made her hesitant in getting off. there were a million 'what ifs' in her head, and she was afraid she'll get kicked out
arriving at the entrance of the library, she bit her lip in nervousness. the whole gang had a negative outlook on her, and her arriving at their base at 2 in the morning was anything but welcoming
she didn't have jisung's demo keycard with her—the card she had used to enter many do the facilities in the NCT base when she use to stay there—so she resorted to the green book with the extra keycard. thankfully, hendery and yangyang had placed it back into its original spot
attempting to click it open, she found herself in a dilemma. starship had tried to open this book too, stuffing up its original combination. a number came to mind as she subconsciously moved the numbers around to land on 2016. this was the year that NCT was first formed, she remembered taeyong mentioning it at her first visit
luckily, it clicked open. grabbing the keycard inside, she tapped it at the side of the shelf, watching it expectantly slide to the side to reveal the familiar interior. placing the book back and shuffling the numbers again, she stepped into the environment she had once known to love.
she had thought everyone had gone to sleep by now, but it was worth a try. taking a step into the elevator, she clicked the same level she had clicked on the first day here. it was all a weird combination of warmth and pain, everything becoming a blur.
the elevator clanked open, revealing the dreamies office. what she didn't expect was a sleepy haechan sitting behind his desk with a single lamp on, alongside renjun who had just walked into the room with his hair a mess and a thick booklet in hand
they're all still awake...they must have worked really hard for this investigation
she took a tender step into their office, haechans head turning sleepily towards her. it took a second for him to react, almost falling out of his seat at the sight. renjun had also noticed, taking a few steps back at the reality in front of him
