I'm A Mess || l.c

17- My Family Tried To Tell Me You Were Shady

I woke up to the sound of someone zipping a backpack closed and sneezing. I rubbed my tired eyes, saw someone wearing black clothes head-to-toe, then proceed to the front door. The sound of the door closing was what jolted me wide awake. I looked to my left and saw that James wasn't in bed anymore. Of course. That was him who had just left the room. But why? I turned on my phone, the bright screen telling me that it was 2:58am. Where could he possibly be going at 3 in the morning? My heart dropped as the thought of him seeing another girl crossed my mind. No. That couldn't be possible. Could it?

I supposed there was only one way to find out.

I jumped out of bed, scrambled through my suitcase to find my black Sad Girls Club hoodie, grabbed my phone, slipped into my sneakers, and ran out the door. He couldn't have gone too far. Luckily, the elevator took less than a minute to reach my floor to take me down to the lobby. I caught a glimpse of a man wearing a black hoodie, jeans and backpack exit the hotel and knew that had to be him.

This felt exhilarating. Yet, I was terrified. Was he cheating on me? There seemed to be no other explanation for going out at this time of night without telling me or at least writing a note if he didn't want to wake me up.

I had been following him for around 10 minutes when he entered a dark alleyway. This sent a chill down my spine, despite me wearing a warm hoodie. Obviously, to stay out of sight, I stood at the corner of the alleyway and a lonely street. There was not another soul to be found.

Suddenly, I heard the voices of what seemed like two men. I peered into the alleyway and, sure enough, there were two other people there. It was so dark that I couldn't make out their faces, but it assured me to see that James wasn't meeting some girl. Who were they though? Friends?

I managed to hear one of them say "where's the coke?" and the other, "how did you manage to smuggle that on an airplane?"

What?

James' familiar voice then spoke. "I didn't ... already here". I couldn't quite catch what he said in the middle as I was obviously too far away, but I saw him and the men exchange something.

Coke? Smuggle? Oh my god. Were they talking about cocaine? Drugs? DID JAMES DEAL DRUGS?!

I gasped so loudly, I immediately regretted it as I realised that they could clearly hear me. I clasped my hands over my mouth and ducked behind a large wheelie bin which thankfully and conveniently happened to be near me. My heart beat even faster than it already was.

I heard one of the men saying "someone's here!"

"WHO WAS THAT? YOU BETTER SHOW YOURSELF RIGHT NOW!" James shouted. I had never heard him yell like this before. Tears rushed down my red face and my entire body shook uncontrollably.

"THERE'S NO POINT HIDING. I HAVE A GUN, AND I'LL SHOOT YOU IF I HAVE TO!" he yelled again.

A GUN?! What on earth did I get myself into?

This couldn't be happening; this HAD to be a dream. No, a nightmare. It was obviously a nightmare. All I had to do was pinch myself or slap myself or something and I'd wake up in bed with James by my side telling me that I was just having a nightmare and that I was going to be okay. But no amount of pinching could bring me back to life. And, of course, I couldn't slap myself because what if this was real and he heard me and he pointed his gun at me and he ...

Who was I fooling? Of course this was real. It was 100% real.

I think I would have been happier if he were in fact seeing a girl.

"Come on man, let's get out of here. It's dark anyway, they wouldn't have seen our faces," one of the men said. I almost breathed a sigh of relief.

The sound of footsteps became louder and I held my breath. This was it. This was the moment that I was going to die a horrible, painful death. But then the footsteps started becoming fainter. This time I really breathed a sigh of relief, then realised that James was probably on his way back to the hotel and would see that I'm missing.

I shot up from my current position and started to run back, of course taking another, and unfortunately, much longer route to avoid him. The tears on my face felt cold against my skin as the crisp wind hit it while I ran back. I made it to the lobby of the hotel, quickly catching my breath as I saw James standing there in front, waiting for the elevator. The stairs were my only option at this point. At least we were only two floors up. The adrenaline in my body allowed me to run up the stairs in practically lightning bolt speed. I swiped my access card to get into the room, took off my hoodie, and jumped into bed with just enough time to catch my breath before the door opened and James came in. I stayed as still as possible, shutting my eyes and pretending to be asleep. The bed sank as he lay down next to me. I opened my eyes and they once again welled up with tears as I lay next to a man who I once thought I knew very well.

Who even was he and how would I get myself out of this mess?

*

Just a few hours later, at approximately 8am, we both woke up and got ready. By 'woke up', I meant him. I didn't sleep, not even for a second. The drop-dead silence in the room allowed the events of last night (or should I say, this early morning) to continue replaying in my mind. I understandably couldn't talk about it because he was under the impression that I was fast asleep here. Besides, if I did talk to him about it, what would he do to me? I mean, he had a gun for goodness' sake!

"You're quiet today, what's up?" he inquired.

"N-nothing" I stammered, mentally slapping myself for sounding nervous. Just act normal, Lauren.

"Okay. What do you want to eat for breakfast?"

"You decide," I answered immediately. That was too fast, Laur, he's going to know something's up.

"You look like you've seen a ghost. What happened?"

"Uhh, nightmare."

"Nightmare? Interesting, tell me about it." Oh no. Did he already suspect something?

"Um, it's nothing, don't worry."

"I'm not worrying, I just want to know."

"Just leave me alone!" I snapped, my breathing getting heavier with each second. I felt as though I was about to have a panic attack, or as if I was already having one.

"Woah Lauren, it's okay. I'm here. You're safe with me, love," he responded with what seemed to be genuine concern. Was I, though?

"Sorry, I'm over-reacting. How about we grab something light from Starbucks?" 

I had to get myself together. I needed to be completely normal until we got back. It was only 2 more nights; I could handle this. Besides, I was going to be seeing my friends tonight. I could tell them about this. This was certainly not something I could tell my sisters. I could already hear them yelling at me for not listening to them in the first place.

But they were right. I should have.