I'm A Mess || l.c

5- Judging Others Won't Get You Anywhere

"Hello, darlings!" I didn't have to turn around to see that it was the girl whom I had been best friends with for so many years, but then her inner 'Mean Girl' came out and she ruined the amazing friendship that we had; the one and only Angela Malek. We weren't even on speaking terms anymore and even Kath, Lisa, and Dani didn't interact with her. It worried me why Angela suddenly came up to us and greeted us. Did she want to be friends again? If she did, did she only want to be friends for the fame?

I couldn't trust Angela anymore and every thought I had of her was a negative one. There were absolutely no more positive thoughts of Angela in my mind. All of those positive thoughts had been erased by all the mean things that had been said to me by her.

I had realised that no one had replied to her yet. I wasn't going to be the one to reply to her first.

"Seriously? Just because my friendship with Lauren ended, you guys aren't even going to talk to me? Where's the respect? I thought I could at least count on you girls to still be kind to me," she stated.

"Well, you can't count on us for anything. If you're going to talk to us and try to become friends with us, it's not going to happen. I know what your intentions are, Angela, and they're not for good but for bad," I answered.

"Okay, hold up. For your information, I'm still friends with Kath, Lisa, and Dani. Second of all, what do you mean that you know what my intentions are?"

"Really? You're still friends with Kath, Lisa, and Dani?" I asked, glaring at my sisters, waiting for an answer from at least one of them.

"I, uh, I don't know," Lisa replied awkwardly.

"That doesn't really matter to me, Lauren. I want to know what you mean by my 'bad intentions'," Angela said.

"You've become someone who I never thought you'd ever become. Someone who only wants fame, power and... I don't even know anymore. But I know that you're only talking to us so you can get fame," I explained.

"You're only judging me by what you see on my Twitter. You've probably seen that I go to parties and wear clothes that you wouldn't ever wear, but does that mean that my intentions have turned to bad? Does that mean that I'm not a good person and that I have no heart and only want fame? If that's what you think then maybe the best decision I've ever made is to break up my friendship with you because you are such a judgemental person. You were the one person that told me not to judge others but, look at you. You're basically doing the same thing that you've repeatedly told me not to do. What a hypocrite." With that, Angela left our table and went to God-knew-where.

I shook my head in disbelief. She was so right. I was a judgemental person.

I was the bad person compared to Angela.

"Are you okay?" Dani asked.

"No, I'm not. I have to fix this. I'm the bad person compared to Angela. Did you hear what she said about me being judgemental? She's right," I explained.

"No, she's just trying to manipulate you into thinking that you're the bad person when you're not!" Lisa stated.

"I have to fix this. I'm going to find her and apologize." With that, I left the table we were sitting at and went to find Angela. What would I say to her, though?

She probably wouldn't even accept my apology.

*

After a while of wandering around the mall by myself, I found Angela in Aeropostale. I walked into the store and nervously walked up behind Angela.

"Um, Angela, can I talk to you for a sec?" I asked. She turned around and when she saw me, her expression turned sour.

"What do you want to say to me?" she replied.

"I'm really sorry for what happened earlier. I know I haven't exactly been very kind towards you and I've been judging you by what I see on Twitter and stuff. I just want to say that I really regret saying those things and I think that you're an amazing person. This is the most stupid question you'd probably ever hear from me but, um, can we make up again? I'm not saying we have to be really good friends or anything but can we at least respect each other?"

Angela's sour expression turned soft when I apologized. The pounding in my heart was enough to make me want to scream out loud and beg for Angela to accept my apology. The long silence was tearing me to shreds and leaving me wondering why I even came up to Angela in the first place.

"You know what? I'm done with this stupid fight. I'm sorry as well since this whole fight basically started off with me being a crappy person to you. I don't really have much time here before I go back home and start cooking dinner for the family and I really want to catch up with you. How about we meet up for some coffee sometime? You still have my number, yeah?" Angela answered.

"Yeah, I do. Do you still have mine?"

"Never deleted your number from my contacts list," Angela replied with a smile.

"Neither did I," I laughed nervously.

As we both walked away from each other, I thought of one last thing to say to her.

"Angela? Thank you. Honestly, thank you for accepting my apology. I know we might not be best friends for a long time but... it wouldn't hurt to just be casual friends for now, hey?"

"Nope, that wouldn't hurt."

I sighed as I walked out of Aeropostale. I never knew that I had the courage inside of me to talk to my ex-best friend and even apologize to her when she should have been the one to apologize first.

Wait. She should have been the one to apologize first?

I hated my selfishness. If our world was divided up into the factions from Divergent, I wouldn't survive in Abnegation. Ever.

*

I was back at home, playing on my phone, yet my mind still went back to Angela every so often. I found it strange how Angela was so forgiving. There was a certain nervous feeling I had when I was near her. She seemed to have an aura around her that was neither good nor bad.

I knew it was nothing to worry about. After all, I had just made up with my ex-best friend. These were the feelings that I was supposed to have. That's what I supposed.

My phone made the familiar 'ping' noise to signal that I had received a text from someone. When I looked down to check who it was from, I saw Angela's name appear at the top with her text. I clicked on it eagerly to view the full message.

A: Tomorrow 11am, The Coffee Corner at Adams Boulevard, be there! mwah xo

Me: Okay, sounds good!

Maybe all of my doubts about Angela would be gone if I really talked to her tomorrow. I had to let go of my annoying habit of judging others too much. That was the only way I could make myself happy and make others happy as well.