Difference Is Good (Raph x Reader TMNT 2012) *Discontinued*

Nightmares and Makeup

I woke up to Raph tossing and turning, taking me with him whenever he moved, and I was getting a bit annoyed.

"Raph." I whispered, trying to wake him up. It didn't work.

"Raph." I said, quite a bit louder. Still nothing.

"God dammit. Raph!" I screamed, causing him to jolt up, sending me to his lap. He was panting as sweat trickled down his face, mixing with tears as he hugged me close to his chest.

"Is everything alright? You seemed to be having one hell of a nightmare." I asked, concerned for his mental state.

"I'm fine, sweetheart, just a silly dream." he said, not letting go of me.

"Well, do you wanna talk about it?" I asked, wanting to know what had scared him so bad. His eyes shifted to the others, who were still sound asleep.

"Let's go somewhere else, I don't want the others to hear. Especially Casey and Leo, they'd go nuts." he said, getting up with me still in his arms. I teleported us into a spare room in the back that Donnie had transformed into a makeshift lab of sorts. No one was in there at the moment, so I figured it'd be the best place to talk. Raph sat down on Donnie's work chair and kissed my head, trembling slightly.

"Whatever he dreamed of must've shaken him up pretty bad." I thought to myself. My turtle in red took a deep breath and he stopped trembling, but I was still extremely worried.

"Before I explain. . . can you promise me something?" he asked, looking me in the eyes.

"I hate making promises, I can never keep 'em." I said, hesitantly looking into his vibrant green eyes.

"Please. That nightmare can't become real, it just can't!" he cried, a sob wracking his body.

"Um, I'll try my best, but, no promises." I said. It was enough to get him to calm down, at least.

"You'll stop hurting yourself." he stated, firmly. My eyes widened as I felt my own tears start to well up.

"I- Raph. . . I can't." I whimpered.

"Why?" his question went unanswered for a few minutes. I took a deep breath and looked into his beautifully green eyes once more.

"Because pain is all I've ever known. If I stopped causing it to myself, I'd probably go insane." he looked shocked, as if he expected a different answer.

"That's stupid." he muttered, angrily.

"Stupid or not, it's the truth. It's not that serious Raph, but your nightmare is. Whatever it was, it had you pretty scared." I said, caressing his cheek, gently. He took a deep breath, and began to explain.

"It was when you were in your coma;

Casey and Leo kept a constant watch over you, and I did too, but they started to notice that your self-harming scars spelled out words. Hurtful words, like bitch, and useless, freak, monster, demon. . . so many words that I couldn't make out half of them because they overlapped each other. Donnie stitched up some of your major cuts, only for them to reopen the next day. He tried again, but they wouldn't stop reopening, it was like they didn't want to heal. I could only watch as you bled out and died in my arms, your pulse gone, the life in your face, gone. Everything about you was gone- even your body. I fell into this black abyss, where you were just standing, but when I tried to touch you. . . you started mumbling things. Those murmurs eventually turned to screams- screams that I had killed you, that I wasn't there for you. I couldn't stop it. You just kept screaming that I was the reason you were. . . dead. You kept going, but then I woke up." he explained. I frowned, not liking my prince charming sad.