Truth Or Dare? ✓

17. godmother fairy

Owen's perspective

:) author's note
i've said this many times and will say it again, the last thing that i want is for this to be an easy going, bad guy falls for a good girl story, okay? haha. i want to make it meaningful, i want to feel the love and the pain that i'm writing about and i really want for y'all to feel it as well.
let me know how you feel about this story so far! mwah

  I woke up because of an annoying beeping sound, that seemed like it will get to my brain and fuck it all over any second now.

I groaned when I understood that it literally takes everything for me to open my eyes. Even when they're open, I didn't really see. Did I stab my eyes in the process of killing myself as well?

Honestly how am I still alive and in the hospital. Again? Fucking again! My godmother fairy really be a real one. She never gives up.

I tried to make myself remember what went wrong this time, but all the alcohol, drugs, not sleeping and eating, constantly getting myself into fights, so that I could feel punished, really have made me lose my last brain cells of normal functioning. I can't remember a single thing besides that and the fact that I hurt Isabel. The only thing that kept me sane. And I hurt her.

"Glad to see you're awake. Your family will be so relieved." I heard some mans voice and tried to open my eyes again. This time it kind of worked and I saw a man with a white rob thing on him. My doctor probably.

"What family?" I tried to say but only a whisper came out of me, which didn't really sound as badass as I thought it will.

"Your mother, young man." the doctor said and gave me a warm smile. I almost liked the man.

That's when a quiet and over smoked voice from cigarettes appeared.

"You scared me so much, son." all of a sudden, the man was gone but my mother was standing right next to me, holding my hand and crying.

Yes, my mother! My fucking mother was here and crying.

"Oh, hi mom!" I whispered and looked at her. My mother was a really beautiful woman, almost too beautiful for her age. All the smoking and wine drinking have been fading that but still not all of it was gone. And she is strong. The strongest woman I know actually. At least she was.

"I have failed you, honey. I've failed myself." she cried out and I wanted to hug her, but I could barely even let a sound out of me.

The thought of how was I even alive made an entrance into my head once again.

"What happened to me, mom?" I asked, looking at her with a fierce look. I tried to.

She shook her head, almost as in defense and denying mechanism.

"Mom, why am I at the hospital?" I asked once again. I just needed for her to say it out loud. Just once.

"You tried to kill yourself, son." she whispered back to me and my heart shrunk in pain.

"I ignored it for more than a year! I saw that you're hurting but I was too goddamn scared to do anything. The thought of losing you made me so weak that I couldn't get up from my bed for days but I never did anything to help you. I never did anything to help my son! The only thing that I have left. I almost lost you last night and that was the scariest moment of my whole life. When your heart stopped beating and the doctors couldn't do anything my whole world just fell apart. Owen, I love you so much. So much more than myself. So much more than anyone else. I can't tell you how sorry I am for not being a mom to you." her voice got interrupted by loud crying and shrugging but I managed to let out a smile.

I had no idea what's going to happen tomorrow, but right at this moment I had my mom back!

"Well I wasn't really the best son out there as well, you know. I ignored you too. I never went to you to talk. You're hurting more than I do." I let out and sighed deeply. With every word my throat was swelling more and more.

"Honey, I'll be the best mom out there starting from now. I promise to you. I promise with all I have left with me. I'm just so sorry that it had to be almost losing you, so that I finally understand that I need to change."

"You don't have to be the best, you just have to be a mom. I just need my mom. I need a parent for once." I said, feeling hot tears forming in my eye corners. It took my mom a couple of minutes before she looked back at me.

I don't cry. What has been up with me lately? Showing emotions is the scariest thing anyone can do. Ever!

"There's someone else with me who hasn't left your side even for a second." my mom squeezed my hand and I closed my eyes, suddenly feeling a huge wave with memories.

Isabel saved me. She was the one who interrupted me. Because of her, I was here now, talking with my mom more than just one sentence for the first time in a year and I was here breathing. It made a lot of pain, but I was breathing. Because of the fact that she was the one who saved me, I wanted to be here talking with my mom and breathing. Because of her I wanted to fight my way back to life, because of her I wanted to live!

I swear to everything, I've never loved anyone else the way how I love Isabel. I've never loved anyone at all. It has always been her.

In diapers, in her sand box eating grass, while stepping into kindergarten with her by my side, while stealing her dolls and pulling their heads off, while pushing her off the stairs and breaking her leg, while talking about how our parents made us when we were ten and being grossed out because of showing each other our naked bodies.

In first heartbreak from fake girlfriend, in first hangover, in first party, in first failed class, in first but sadly not the last time I got peas stuck in my nose, in stealing her dad's whiskey, when getting to know that my dad has got another woman pregnant.

I have loved her while letting her win in video games only to see her smile that wide, while stepping into high school by her side, when protecting her from this guy Jackson who said she has got too fat ass and legs, when listening to her for hours about how annoying boys are and how much she just needs someone who is so badass but so sweet to her.

When getting her ice cream and three chocolates when she's on her period because four would be too much and she would get fat, when becoming friends with Liz and Noah with her.

I loved her even when getting stuck in a carousel with her and Rue, when face timing for nine hours straight and watching her fall asleep and snore, then screenshot it and laugh at the lunch table for like a week straight, when letting her shave my head, when holding her hand when she got her ears pierced and cried like a baby, when taking her mom to the cinema so that she could go get shitfaced at Liz's place on a Tuesday's night with a math test the next day.

When saying that I love her this one time right before I threw up all over her favorite red dress, while whining about my dad over a vodka bottle and having her listen to me for the whole night and making me coffee and pancakes the next morning even though her head hurt just as much as mine from all the vodka, when laying under the stars at Noah's beach house with her head on my chest and reminiscing about all the funny things we've done, like this one time Ms. Peterson asked for us to water the plants when we were 12, while she's on her trip to Italy and we ended up breaking her bed from all the jumping, eating all the snacks and breaking her tv, and her dog had a good shit on one of her beloved cactuses. To this day, don't know how we made it out alive.

And I have loved her while trying to not laugh at her first time trying out weed, so that she doesn't start to cry, while baking cookies at three in the morning, while getting into that dare to kiss each other, while kissing each other more and that being the best feeling in the whole world and while almost losing her.

I've loved her through it all and I've never stopped. I don't think that I ever will.

"Isabel?" I groaned, my voice sounding raspy. I was back at the hospital room, finally out of my thoughts, my mom smiling at someone in the doorway.

"Hi, asshole best friend!" she shrugged, half crying, half laughing. She had messy hair that it actually looked like a bird has made a nest in there, puffy eyes from all the crying but the same smile that immediately light up the whole room and my world.