The day before the flight to Chicago I have already listed my pros and cons if I'll choose to go.
My mother used to tell me that the decisions I make, small or not will always make a change in my life huge enough to place me in a different path.
Right now, I'm about to make a decision that will either make me walk in the same path I've been walking or make me walk in a whole different one.
When the clock strikes 12, unlike Cinderella that ran away from her prince, my princess just ended her shift.
"Hey. Waiting for someone?" She acknowledged.
My heart started beating fast, the same way, if not faster, everytime I see her.
I nodded and smiled at her. "I have to talk to you. Can I walk you home?" I asked and she agreed.
We started walking under the moonlight in silence.
I have to tell her. Otherwise, I will never have the chance again. I just need a couple more seconds to get the courage.
"I thought you need to talk to me? Maybe you should start by actually opening your mouth, darlin."
"There's a job offer that will make me one of the boss in our company. A huge opportunity for my career." I began. She smiled. "Congratulations. We should celebrate. Me, you and your best friend, Madeline."
"It's in Chicago. Maddie and I are leaving tomorrow. " She was stunned and her smile fell for a couple of seconds but she still smiled at me.
"Darlin, why are you telling me all this?" She asked clearly aware of an upcoming announcement of some sort.
I took a deep breath and stopped in my tracks to face her lovely face.
"I don't know what this is or if it is real but I love you, Elaina."
When her smile disappeared it broke my heart. I know what that means.
"From the moment I saw your beautiful eyes and infectious smile I fell in love with you." I repeated and chuckled trying to hide the pain.
I continued walking and she just followed not too far behind me.
The rest of the walk was silent and the only sound we can hear are the sirens from the cars.
I know from the start 5 years ago that this girl that I fell in love with will never love me back.
But now, I expected to hear that beautiful sentiment telling me that she loves me too. But no. I didn't.
We stopped when we arrived. I finally had the courage to face her.
"Listen--" I was cut off when a pair of hands suddenly hugged me.
"I'm so sorry but I don't feel like that towards you. If you're telling me this because you're refusing that big job offer, stop." I felt her sigh before she pulled away.
Elaina Summers..
"I know you're talented and has a lot of potential to be the most successful architect in the world. I don't want to be the reason you'll lose that." She kissed me on the cheek but wiped it away with her thumb.
Her touch makes my heart break and run at the same time.
Only she can do that to me.
"Live a dream you know you can achieve, darlin'. Don't chase after me. That will only break your heart."
**
2 hours before my flight I'm already prepared to leave and start a new life.
I took one last glance at my apartment before stepping out and closing the door.
I hailed a cab and got in with my stuff. I looked in the window as we drive to the airport.
For me leaving my apartment means leaving my love for Elaina Summers.
When I told her about my love for her I expected that she won't reciprocate but it still hurts.
Of course hurts.
I've loved you for more than 5 years, Elaina Summers. Of course it hurts.
But despite being hurt, I'm glad I told you how I feel.
Atleast now, I wouldn't think of the 'what ifs'.
You are still a mystery to me, Elaina. The question of why I fell in love with you will always be unanswered.
But it's okay because who needs an answer?
Knowing or not the reason why I love you will never change the way I feel about you.
You will always be a part of my heart, Elaina Summers.
Forever and ever.
