Fix me

This cant be real

10:10

"Shuhua it's your father... you need to come home"

my whole world stopped, that intense feeling in my chest came back and the pounding of my heart echoed throughout my body

My voice started to shake "Mom.. w-what do you mean what happen" I said with a pleading voice

The wind seemed to have stopped

This is eating me alive "Mom tell me no-"

"He is gone... Shuhua" my mother voice cried in pain

dropping my phone on the ground I felt like everything collapsed right one me.

Don't cry, you can't cry in front of them I told myself .

"Yuqi.. I'm leaving back to Taiwan for a little, please don't tell the members " I said with the little strength I had

I looked back down at my phone grabbing it

When I put the phone back to my ear, my mother was sobbing none stop.."Mom, I'm coming please wait for me" I said before hanging up. Why did this have to happen.

The wind started to pick back up

"Shuhua is everything ok" Yuqi asked

Giving my best smile "everything is fine Yuqi-ah" I hate myself for lying

The members were yelling for us to hurry

"Yuqi sit next to me please" I mumbled

She just hugged me and with that we both jogged towards the car

The members looked at us weirdly but I didn't care..

we got in and sat next to each other, so I put my headphones in quickly. I just need to zone everything out I'm not thinking straight... this can't be real

I tapped on Yuqi shoulder "can you make sure the members don't mess with me"

"Shuhua what's wrong are you okay" Yuqi said sternly

I looked away and placed my hand on my heart. Was it always beating this fast. I just want to go home.

"Shuhua.."

"Yuqi please" I pleaded

She just nodded. I went back to looking out the window, was it always the gloomy outside.

-----------------

Finally we had showed up to our building.when the car stopped I opened the door and walked straight to our dorm building, I could feel myself wanting to break down, but I forced that feeling away "not yet" I sighed

I placed my hand on the doorknob not realizing I was shaking

"Shuhua" Miyeon grabbed my hand off the knob and looked at me worried

I didn't notice she was this close to me, wasn't I walking fast enough to get to the room first

"Shuhua, you aren't like this what's bothering you"

My family has raised me to always hold things in. To never show my weak side and if we did it was around family or to make sure no one was around.