Fix me

The truth

7:00 Shuhua

Sitting on the couch the members were waiting for me to speak.

To be honest I'm afraid

I felt my palms sweat, and I was tapping my foot on the ground "tonight was going to be long" I thought

Looking over at Soojin she noticed how uneasy I was, so she placed her hand on my thigh to calm me down

I took a slow deep breath "ok, what I'm going to say is still hard to bring up"

"Shu, are you sure" Soojin whispered in my ear

"I'm fine Jin-ah"

Yuqi stopped hugging Soyeon "this is about why you left right" Yuqi asked

I nodded "please just listen" I cleared my throat
Fiddling with my thumbs I looked at my Members

"So as you all know I left back to Taiwan for a family emergency" I felt so nerves but this has to be done "during that time away, uhm I've experienced myself go into a dark place" I confessed

Soojin started rubbing my back "I-I mean like I've never cried so much or felt so sad it was really suffocating " I felt a lump in my throat from holding back my tears

"Im sorry" I begin to be a crying mess and the girls were looking at me so sad

I put my head down "I lost my Dad" I muttered

Soojin held my hand tight while the girls mouth were agape in disbelieve

Soyeon stood up giving me the biggest hug "I'm so sorry Shu" she whispered "you always have me here for help ok"

"Thank you Unnie"

Minnie and Yuqi started to tearing up not able to say anything and I didn't blame them

Miyeon finally got up and held my hand "Shu if there is anything we can do to help please tell us"

Seeing Miyeon look so sad made me realize how much the girls care for me.

"I will" I'm still looking down, simply because I don't want them to see me too vulnerable even though they can hear it

Doing things like this was still new to me and it is a habit to hide my emotions

"Stop having your head down Shu" Soojin sadly spoke lifting my face up, she looked at me while I cried then I noticed a tear escape from her eye

"I'm sorry" I mumbled looking into her eyes

Yuqi was ugly crying now "Y-Ya Shu" her voice cracked "I'm here for you stop thinking you can hold things in" she rushed over hugging me without letting go

"Seriously Shu, Unnie wants to know when you feel down" Minnie wiped her tears and joined in on the hug

We stayed like that for a few minutes

"I'm sorry" I mumbled again

"Hey Shu we will help you get through this okay. together" Soyeon sincerely said "there is nothing you should be sorry about"

I smiled wiping my tears away "thank you"

Soojin held my hands "I told you we are here for you"

Yuqi was still crying with Minnie "ya can you two please stop crying already"

Soojin softly laughed "I'm glad you are doing better" she said patting my head