fraught with fear | lee donghyck √

xviii - is she the one?

"The process of-can you not" Haneul whacked Haechan's leg as they were sprawled across the grudge concrete, their backs against the painted wall. Figuring out that it would be nice to do their assignment at Haneul's wall, they now were quarrelling about every question on the assignment.

This assignment was the introduction to the baby handling, so therefore the two were forced to do it together

Haechan continuously threw his nearly bought phone up and down, many times nearly crashing to the ground. This phone was a flip phone, the one that Haneul has gotten for Haechan. Hence why he was throwing this piece of 'trash' around

"Stop throwing it around and focus" She shoved a pen into his hand and took the metal away from him, placing it down next to her

"I really don't care about how women menstruate" Yes, they were still learning about puberty in a children unit.

"You should" She ripped a page out of their booklet and tossed it to him "Now actually help"

"I don't know nor care about the level of pain child birth is" He places the page down and resorted to glazing his eyes cover the stars instead

"I want to switch partners" She sighed, also giving up and letting her eyes drift over the little white dots woven into the raven veil. It was funny how only the stars were witnessing everything and the moon became a lone watcher.

"You piss me off a lot you know" She stated the obvious, tracing lines between the celestial decorations in the sky

"I know" Haechan replied simply, sneaking a glance at her rare tranquil state

"I've always wondered" She exhaled "Why do you let me call you Donghyuck?". Haechan pursed his lips, his heart halting for a very brief second. There was no reply simply because he didn't know himself

"Does it not piss you off?" This was a risky question, but she's basically juggled her whole life for Haechan

"Everything pisses me off Haneul" He could only hear the distant whistles of leaves as they sat in silence

"If you were to fall for someone, does that scare you? Does it...piss you off?" She asked tenderly. There was no ground to these questions, it was just plain curiosity with the dab of interest

I'd be more afraid if you fell for someone that's not me
And the thought whirled out of his head as quick as it came

"Yes" The words left his mouth quicker than anticipated "Because I'd break her heart in the end"

She couldn't help but flicker her eyes to him "Why?"

"I'm not invested, i dont contain the amount of love one needs for a relationship." He breathed out through his nose "I can't give someone else love when i haven't given enough to myself"