Incognito

Ch. 39 "Without Love"

Chapter 39

It's February now.

We've reached the month of love. And also my birthday month. Usually it would be my favorite month, but it's not the same this year.

What no one can see is that all I want is for everything between Kyle and me to go back to normal.

I've gotten over the whole I-hate-you-so-much-you-lying-bastard phase. I'm just now on the I-don't-know-what-to-do-because-you've-messed-up-so-many-times-but-you're-so-damn-cute phase.

It's undeniable how much I love him now. I mean, you don't go back to someone this many times unless they have your heart. In some ways, I'm worried that I'm like Haley.

Am I in love with poison?

Kyle broke my heart three times now. Three. That's a hell of a lot for a heart to take.

We've reached the point after the avalanche. It's silent. The survivors are struggling their way to safety, just like my hope for our relationship. I'm secretly rooting for us to get to the safe house.

"Hey," Trent greets as he opens my bedroom door, "you busy?"

I close my journal and place it back on my desk. "Not anymore. What's up?"

"I just went out to lunch with Luke and Kyle and we-"

"Is Kyle okay?" I ask, twiddling with my thumbs.

I've seen him at school, of course, but we haven't made any real conversation in a few weeks. I still make sure there's no more bruises on his face.

His parents are apparently still in town. I don't know why or what for, but I'm hoping it's just for a little vacation back to the old days.

Trent nods. "The press has gone away, so he'll probably move back in with Luke soon."

"That's good," I muse with a small smile.

"You want to come over?" Trent asks hopefully.

"No," I breathe. "I don't really want to."

"C'mon, don't you miss him?"

I sigh. Of course I miss him. I miss everything about him.

I miss his touch and his kisses. I miss his bashful smile. I miss the way his eyes light up when he sees me. I miss his laugh. I miss the way he'd slap Luke when he said something stupid.

I miss him.

"I'm nervous," I admit.

"I'll be with you the whole time," Trent assures and holds out his hand for me to take.

I force a smile and grab his hand, letting him lead us out of my room. Frankie's in the family room watching cartoons when we pass.

He's still not talking.

"You want to come back to my place with me, Frank?" Trent asks, resting his hands on Frankie's shoulders.

Frankie thinks about it for a second before nodding and shutting off the TV.

I'm beyond nervous. It's just Luke and Kyle... I'm not angry with them, but it's hard to rebuild all the trust they broke down.

The whole car ride I try to relax myself, but I honestly still feel nauseous. It's just Luke and Kyle.

"Guys, we're back!" Trent calls as he opens his new apartment door.

The first thing we see is Kyle and Luke standing on Trent's couch with microphones in their hands. They're loudly singing to the famous High School Musical song, Breaking Free.