Betray Me Softly

12: Secrets, Realities and Pain

-Some secrets change our hearts-

Lina

After heading back to the kitchen, I was dragged by a curious Hania to the storage room and made to sit on a bag of straws. 

"Spill," she mused, standing before me. A low chuckle echoed into her tone, as I gave her a confused smile. 

"About what?" I couldn't help but feel amused by her antics...placing my hands on the sack and leaning back on them. This girl was a teenager. I was so many ages older than her. Yet, with the small ceiling bulb hanging above her head and the smell of food lingering in the air, she reminded me so much of my middle-school science teacher; that teasing sound of chalk rubbed between her hands, the cliche glare...it had been such a joy being a student. I used to believe my school exams were torture tools. Now, I missed the naivety that came with being a student. 

I missed it so much. 

A low feeling hit me, but before I couldn't focus on it, Hania spoke again. "About why you so suddenly rushed out of the kitchen?" She prompted, tapping her right foot against the floor.  Despite her childish curiosity and determination, she had a cheery smile on her face, which made me smile. 

"Okay," I chuckled and told her about what exactly had happened. Somehow, talking about how Kivanc had scolded me no longer pained my heart. The change in perspectives had been so warm. 

After listening to me, Hania told me about how scary-furious Kivanc had been at the girl, how his deadly and menacing anger had almost everyone stopping themselves from hiding under the tables. I wasn't really surprised by this because I had seen Kivanc's temper first-hand, yet the fact that he had been so firm about taking a stand for me made me feel so surprised and guilty. I really shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. 

Thankfully, there were no mentions of words spoken about me. Grabbing some vegetable boxes, we walked out of the kitchen while sharing a few smiles in between. 

Dania had left already, and Alizeh was now quietly placing the dirty dishes on the counter.

"Oh, and Lina," Hania smiled, opening the vegetable box and placing it under the sink's tap. "Please don't mind how Dania was acting earlier. She honestly meant no harm." she sweetly assured, sounding so many years older than me. Momentarily, it panged how our roles had been reversed, how a teenager wanted to school my heart.

 I was supposed to be the wise one here. 

"I have already forgotten about it,"  I mused, grabbing the kitchen cloth and wiping the main counter. Truth be told, I had too much going on to allow yet another person to wound my soul. Words hurt...their intensity hurt...and I didn't want to feel that hurt anymore. 

"She is actually a really nice person," she continued keeping her back towards me. "She might come off as rude, but she is just too disturbed because of her dysfunctional family. Ma'am Marina told me that she was abandoned by her dad at some shelter. I honestly pity her so-"

"Hania, will you stop it." Stunned by the sudden sharpness, I looked up to see Alizeh, who was now holding a mop, glaring at Hania with a strict look. She had always been so chill and least bothered about everything, but right now, she was mad at her sister was revealing personal secrets. She was actually right about this.

 Hania had told me Dania's story so many times, and till now, I hadn't been able to find a way to stop her from gossiping because I didn't want to upset her. She and Marina were the only people here who didn't make me feel lonely...were good to me. I didn't what to offend them, hurt their feelings or have them give up on me. My fear of loneliness and desperation for some warm hearts had me acting like a complete people pleaser, and now I just didn't want to lose anyone.