A Thousand Salt Kisses Later (Book 2 of Salt Kiss series)

Way Without Will?

It was nearly five in the morning and Sam and I stumbled home down Kingsland Road. We had tried to catch the night bus, but it had not arrived, and so he had suggested we walk. Now I traipsed behind him reluctantly. My feet killed from dancing, and I had wanted to wait longer.

After Reykjavik, we had all gone to some club in a basement and watched this woman in a leotard sing some really awful, screechy songs. About twenty of us had then invaded the stage ourselves, dancing and singing until the bouncers had practically dragged us out through the doors.

"I hope we didn't ruin her set?" I said to Sam, as we reached the park.

"I think she did that herself," laughed Sam, taking my hand and pulling me through the gates. "If anything we rescued her set."

"I feel bad," I argued, collapsing on the park bench. "She had probably been practicing for weeks."

"Oh no, I hope not for her sake," laughed Sam, sitting down next to me.

It was now getting light, and I leaned my head on his shoulder. If we cut through the park, we could shorten our journey by about twenty minutes, but even so, we were still ages away. "Why don't we lie on the grass and have a little nap?" I suggested, closing my eyes.

"It's pretty damp, Crystal," he said, leaning his head on top of mine.

After further encouragement, I convinced him that this was the best way forward, and he groaned as dew seeped through our clothes.

"It's refreshing," I giggled.

"It's really not!" he protested. "And how much do you like that handbag, by the way? Because it probably won't be there when you wake up..."

I had to admit; I had not thought of this in my state of suffering.

I began to sit up.

"Oh, don't worry - I'll keep a look out," he sighed, leaning back on his elbows.

"Just five minutes," I said thankfully, collapsing back down on the grass again, and staring up at the sky.

A plane trailed across the pale blue atmosphere and I watched its puffy white scars form and then fade. We lay there for a while, and my eyelids began to get heavier until I blacked out.

When I woke up, it was even brighter.

I looked up at Sam, who had been loyally guarding us, as promised. "Morning," he grinned.

His light blue eyes were bloodshot now, and he looked knackered. But I was still so tired myself.

"Morning," I said dazedly, closing my eyes again.

"Oh come on!" he protested.

"I'm awake; I'm just shutting them," I pretended. We lay there for a while; the birds tweeting their morning song in the trees above.

"So, I guess it's over, then," said Sam, his tone suddenly serious.

"Mm," I murmured.

"Crystal," he persisted.

I opened an eye and peered at him. He had now turned on his side to face me and his strawberry blonde hair was all ruffled up from our crazy night out. I smiled. Not only was he good looking but there was something very adorable about him.

"Yeah, okay. I guess so," I replied eventually, reaching over sleepily and smoothing out his hair. "You look like a chick that just hatched."

He smiled and shuffled closer, and I rolled onto my side so that we faced each other. My hand dropped onto his neck, and I closed my eyes again.

"You know, I thought maybe we could try and look for our own place?" he said, a little nervously.

Now I opened my eyes. "Our own place?" I repeated frowning.

"Well, that was... enthusiastic," he said quietly.

I felt really awful all of a sudden but I didn't know what to say; he had just sprung this on me. It also didn't help that I felt like a member of the living dead right now.

"Sorry," I mumbled, closing my eyes again and putting a hand to my forehead. I searched my foggy mind for excuses to smooth over my reaction. "Well... our student loans are going to get cut off soon so I don't know how we would be able to afford anything like that."

"Where there's a will there's a way, right?" he said.

I nodded and moved closer into his arms. I couldn't bear to hurt him; we had been together a whole year, and he was so good to me. And anyway, we lived together already, albeit with eight other people.

I should want to move in with him; just the two of us. It's the obvious thing to do. But for some reason, I just could not summon up any of this 'will' he spoke about. Is there a way without a will?

You'll change your mind, I told myself.