It's Just Us [🗸]

our argument

 ty SouthsideSerpents124 for all the love, it really means a lot 💓

***

WILL

James seems to be on the opposite end of a gaping chasm from me.

He doesn't talk to me, doesn't look at me. When we do make eye contact in the middle of the crowded hallways, he glances away, doesn't even look at me. Then, he leaves me in the dust, my outstretched arms falling to my sides like dead weights.

I'll be walking to class, and I'll see James walking in my direction, and before I can even utter a word to him, he'll be in the opposite direction. Gone. Just like that.

But before I can even think twice about it, Jason'll be tugging me away to the nearest corner, assuring me that it's not a big deal, asking me about our plans for the night. And James'll fall out of my grasp, and I'll forget everything temporarily.

But it stings. 

Everything and nothing needles at my chest because of the fact that my fucking best friend can't even look at me. That he's avoiding me like he's done with me. Like I've done something irreversibly, irrevocably wrong.

Being with Jason makes time go by quicker, makes me forget that time is ticking in the background. Then there's James, that I don't even get an opportunity to see, because we don't see each other anymore. In fact, not seeing him now makes me realize exactly how much time we usually spend together. 

For starters, James drives me everywhere. I don't have a car—for various reasons that I'm not about to get into— so James is my primary source of transportation. Not to mention the fact that I essentially live at his house while he lives at mine.

I don't just have one home, I have two. That's something that has never changed within all the years we've been together.

Then there's the added fact that James and I spend every waking day together at school, whether it's at lunch, exchanging our usual meals, or the team's practices.

But now, Jason Nguyen is driving me places, I'm spending the weekends with Jason, and I'm sleeping over at Jason's. 

Something alarming rises to my chest as my eyes widen, my mind flashing to James.

I'm not replacing him, right? He doesn't feel like I'm replacing him?

I let out a breath, an uneven chuckle. I must be dense. So, it's not like I'd even know if James did feel like I was putting Jason first. James always comes first. I push a loose strand of hair behind my ear. He has to know that. But if he doesn't? I still wouldn't know. 

My shoulders sag in something resembling resignation, a million crescent moons pulling me down. 

He doesn't talk to me anymore.