I Am Not Nothing

Chapter Thirty-Two

*Warning: multiple time skips*

"Rava." The blond boy whispered.

I stared up at him, still holding his face in my hands. He slowly took my hands in his and looked at them. He looked back into my eyes.

"See what I'm seeing." He whispered, "Hear what I'm thinking.  And feel how I'm feeling." 

In his eyes, I could see that he had words, but they were trapped. So, without my wand, I focused on the boy and pulled myself into his mind.

I saw myself through his eyes in this exact moment, I felt what he felt, I could hear everything he heard, which was different than what I heard. I was that my eyes stared blankly at him but in his eyes, he didn't see me as I saw myself. I was more beautiful in his eyes. I could feel the thudding of his heart in his chest. Whispers of his own voice talking to him. Conflict ran through his head. What to do? What not to do? Choose one to lose the other. What side to choose? Cherish this moment? Or walk away? I pulled myself away from the kitchen and dug through his memories. The memories were different than Ross'. In Draco's head, it was like being pulled through a white tunnel, and memories flew past me. Most of them were of him and I. Some were with his family. Some were with Astoria. It was like going back in time. Then the memories stopped and all I saw was white.

I came out of his head.  I didn't know what to think. He was so conflicted.

"Draco, I know you're confused, but I want to help you get over the confusion." I whispered to him.

He sighed and kissed each of my palms before he let go of them. He didn't say anything. He just shrugged and gave me a small smiled before walking out of the kitchen. I had poured my heart out to him. Told him how I felt for the first time in what felt like forever. And he walked out. He simply walked out. He shrugged and then walked out. He didn't say anything, he just walked. I breathed deeply, trying to keep my blood from boiling. But I could feel my face get hot and the adrenaline begin to rush through my body.

"Erm, Miss Snape? The Dark Lord is asking for you." A man's voice said at the door that Draco had just walked through.

I glared at Wormtail and pulled out my wand. I could feel rage burning through my body.

"I'm going! Away with you, now!" I yelled.

I marched my way, past the man. I walked to the conference room and threw open the door. The man on the other side of the room looked over at me and slowly smiled.

"Yes, let the anger control you, my dear." He said.

I walked in and closed the door behind me. I saw Nagini make her way over to me and push her head up to meet my hand. I pet the snakes head and then made my way over to the Dark Lord.

"You asked for me?" I asked him.

"Ahh, yes. I am going to go recruit more people for our- cause." He said slowly.

"You require me to hold the meetings?" I asked him.

"You are correct. You know what to do. And do not forget that Potter must be killed by me. And me, alone." He told me.

"Of course, father. I will not let you down." I told him. 

I was let go and we dismissed the Death Eaters, letting them go to do as they pleased with their time. This Christmas wasn't going to be enjoyable like everyone wants it to be. But every Death Eater knew their job and there wasn't much for me to do except to discipline the screw-ups. Discipline was easy. You yell at them until the sink into their own skins, then you use the Cruciatus curse until they beg for you to stop. This way, you're sure that the message sunk into their brains and they'll be scared to mess up again. We give one mess up. If you mess up a second time, you die. It's simple! Don't mess up!