chapter twenty-six

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Chapter Twenty-Six

A few weeks later...

"Do you really need a whisk?" Risa asked, for what felt like the thousandth time.

I sighed deeply as I continued to sort Jared's kitchen stuff. "It's one of those things that you just have to have in the house."

"I never use a whisk," she countered, scanning my list of things to buy before we moved into our apartment. We had been packing all day because school would be starting up in two weeks and we still needed to get everything moved in. Jared was busy driving most of our things to Providence already, so it was just my best friend and me arguing over arbitrary problems as I rushed to finish getting ready to leave for college.

"Well, I'm gonna try to cook more," I huffed, growing impatient with her. "I'll need a whisk at some point and we won't have one and then—"

Before I could continue the argument, my stomach heaved and shut me up. In seconds, I collapsed on my knees in front of the trash can and puked up everything I'd eaten. Risa held my hair behind my head. It was disgusting, but I appreciated her.

"Let it out." She rubbed soothing circles on my back. "I'll get you some Pepto Bismol at the store later today."

I wiped my mouth on a paper towel and winced. "Do you think it's the flu or something?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. It could be stress, or maybe a stomach bug. Hopefully whatever it is passes before classes start. Want me to finish packing so you can lie down?"

I knew something was wrong just by looking at her. She seemed distant, lost inside her mind. Her gears were turning, and I was scared to know what her train of thought was. It couldn't be good.

"Risa?" I asked, trying to get her attention.

"How about you stay on the couch while I make a run to the drugstore?" she suggested, snapping back to the present moment.

I let her guide me over to the sofa and cover me with a blanket, trying to figure out where her head was at. She didn't say anything as she grabbed her keys off the kitchen table and left, gently closing the front door behind her.

When she returned a half-hour later, she carefully shook my shoulder to wake me, face level with mine. "I bought soda for your stomach and picked up the medicine." When Risa paused, I knew there was something else.

"What?" I prompted.

"I think..." She avoided eye contact. "I think you should take a test."

"School hasn't started yet." I played dumb, trying to avoid what I knew she was implying.

"Laura." She sounded unamused. "You know what I mean."

I sat up. "No. Absolutely not. I don't need to take one because I have the flu. That's all it is. It's just the goddamn flu."

I hadn't had any symptoms before this. No nausea any other time, no weird cravings. There was only one time we'd forgotten protection, but I'd taken the morning after pill.

Sometimes I threw up when I got stressed out or nervous about something, like going back to school. She knew this.

It had to be the flu. Or stress sickness. I couldn't be pregnant.

Risa reached for the plastic bag, a receipt crinkling in her fist as the test rattled inside the box. She set it down beside me, both of us just staring at it. I swallowed my pride, my thoughts, and took it into my hand, turning it over to read the directions.

"Are we really doing this?" I practically whimpered as tears traced down my cheeks.

"It's gonna be okay. It could be a sickness."

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