One and Only (Kelly Severide love story)

Scorched Earth

"IF YOU WANTED ME SO DESPERATELY, YOU SHOULD'VE SAID IT"

"Where is Severide anyway?" Jess asks, "I haven't seen him these last 2 days" Ryan chimes in, "I don't know" I shrug. "What happened?" Jess questions, "I don't know" I shrug again, "so you are not going to explain the half bottle of scotch?" Ryan mentions.

"Something happened last shift" I give in, "what?" Jess sits next to me. 

"You remember Jimmy right?" I question and she nods, "well he lost his brother a few weeks ago and he had been acting really erratic and not following orders" I explain. 

"Did something bad happen to him?" Jess worries, "he got severely burned at a call" I inform them, "oh my God! That's terrible" Ryan sympathises. "Is he alive?" Jess asks, "yeah but he has a long recovery ahead of him and he can't be a firefighter anymore" I sigh. 

"I don't even know what to say" Jess says.

"Severide took it pretty hard" I continue, "I came here to find him drinking away his worries" I explain. "He said something and got mad when I couldn't say it back and then he left" I tell them, "I couldn't stop him" I add.

"What did he say?" Ryan asks the question I don't want to answer.

"He said that he wants to be with me" I admit, "that's amazing!" Jess cheers. "No it's not" I shake my head, "he was drunk and didn't mean it" I don't want to think about it. "Drinking makes people more honest" Ryan points out, "not in this case" I argue.

"Why aren't you excited?" Jess nudges me, "I mean he finally has figured out what he wants and it's you!" She exclaims, "why don't you stop being so afraid and tell him you want him to?"

"BECAUSE I CAN'T!" I yell.

"WHY NOT?" Jess yells back.

I lean against the kitchen counter, head in my hands. 

I can't wait anymore, I have to tell them now.

"Before I tell you" I start, "you need to promise not to overreact" I warn, "we are not promising anything so tell us" Jess demands. 

"Jesse and I are back together" I confess, my voice a whisper. 

Ryan drops the toast he is eating, staring at me in shock while Jess remains neutral, staring at me without a hint of emotion in her eyes.

"And we're engaged again" I mumble.

It's silent, no one knowing what to say.

"I can't believe this" Jess mutters, going to walk away, "Jess, let's talk about this" I pull her back. "Talk about what?" She pulls her arm away, "the fact that you have gone crazy!" She shouts.

"Jess" I call her back.

"Don't Jess me!" She yells.

"How could you?!" She continues, her anger kicking in now. "Do you not remember the way he hurt you?" She brings up, "because I definitely remember" she doesn't give me a chance to reply.

"He broke you and we were the ones who had to put you back together and now here you are jumping off the same wall yet again!" She huffs. 

"It's not like that" I try.

"Please stop talking" she hushes me.

"I have known you for 28 years but it feels like I haven't seen the real you since you were 20 years old" she says, "I have finally started to get a glimpse of the real you!" She exclaims. "But now once again I don't recognise you" her words are more painful than anyone else's.