One and Only (Kelly Severide love story)

Trading In Scuttlebutt

"I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, JUST NOT LIKE HOW YOU WERE WITH ME. I'M SELFISH, I KNOW, CAN'T LET YOU GO. SO FIND SOMEONE GREAT, DON'T FIND NO ONE BETTER. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, BUT DON'T BE HAPPIER"

"So you will say that I am psychologically okay to get back to work right?" I question, "I am not so confident" Dr Charles responds. "Why not?" I sigh, "I have come to every session and answered all your questions" I point out.

"See that's the thing you haven't" he argues.

"Well ask what you want" I invite, "I have but you keep avoiding my questions" he observes, "do I have to speak about every little thing?" I go on the defence.

"If you want to go back to work" he answers.

"Okay ask away" I lean back and brace myself.

"When you were tied to that chair, how did you really feel?" He asks the same questions, "I have answered this" I argue, "I felt scared but who wouldn't in that situation" I add.

"See that's what you do" he notices, "you deflect, don't want the subject on you for too long" damn he really is a good psychiatrist.

"Fine" I give in, "I was scared at first but I made peace with the idea of that being my last day" I admit. "Why make peace?" He queries, "because I thought that was the end of the line" I answer, "so you decided to just wait for it to happen?" He questions.

"Most people would have their fight instincts kick in" he adds.

"What's the point of fighting a losing battle when you can just accept defeat?" I counter.

"Is that what you feel? Defeated?" He infers as I sadly nod, "sometimes" I admit, "I feel like all my efforts end up wasted" I add.

"Does this feeling worsen from the tubal pregnancy?" He brings up.

"Yes" I nod, "nothing seems to go my way" I admit, "sometimes I feel like all the bad stuff that happens to me is a sense of karma" I confess.

"Why is that?" He questions.

"I know things" I admit, "very bad things" I continue.

"And you keep them secret?" He listens.

"Yes," I answer.

"Doesn't that get exhausting?" He queries.

"You have no idea" I exhale, "and now I have another secret to keep" I refer to the pregnancy. "Why do you feel the need to keep so many secrets?" He questions, "because if I say anything then people get in trouble" I answer.

"Trouble?" He pries but I realise I have said too much. 

I stay silent and he realises that he is not going to get anything more out of me today. 

"How about we make a deal?" He offers, "I will tell your Chief that you are ready to go back to work" he continues, "as long as you keep coming to meet with me."

"Okay," I agree.

"Deal doesn't work if you miss sessions" he warns.

"I won't" I assure him.

We finish the session and I get to the firehouse, rushing to get ready because I am only slightly late.

"How did the session with Dr Charles go?" Otis comes up, "good, he cleared me for work" I add, "yeah he cleared me too" Otis replies. "Well, hopefully we can put the whole thing behind us" I sigh, "at least one good thing came from it" he mentions.

"What?" I question.

"This" he pecks my lips and I smile.

Maybe something is finally going to go my way.