Find Me

11. Thunderstorm

Monday wasn't just a hard day, but an absolutely terrible one. And it wasn't because of hungover or lack of sleep. I didn't want to see anybody, one person to be exact, but everyone else was related to that because literally everyone interacts with HER. Her name can be heard from everywhere, hes surname too, and everyone says it with so much joy and amusement that all i want to do is squeeze my ears with my hands and shout as loud as possible to get rid of it. 

In English class I defiantly passed the desk Kirstie was sitting at and sat near Stevie. Scott decided to accompany Casey today so Kirst was sitting alone, which gave me some kind of mean pleasure. No, I didn't hate her. And I didn't want her to be unhappy or something like that. I couldn't even understand myself what was happening to me and why were all my "not giving attention looks" turning to contemptuous gazes. Everyone noticed that and some people have already pushed my shoulder, looking at me in confusion. 

Hoying even had to jump between me and Kirstie when she rushed towards me, grabbing my hands and looking at my bloody knuckles and I almost killed her, not saying anything or moving at all. 

"What's wrong with you for God's sake? Have you two argued" Scott asked leading me further from the girls. 

"Everything is fine." I looked away not wanting to remind myself of what I saw yesterday.  

"Mitch it isn't. I've never seen you like that before." He truly cared for me so I patted his shoulder and smiled. 

"Everything is fine, for real Scotty. Well... kinda. If you really wanna know why did my attitude towards Kirstie change so much, learn more about her from Stevie or herself. I don't wanna talk about it." 

Miss Terry, the English teacher was talking about her trip to some famous art museum in Paris and I just sat there ripping a piece of paper so I had at least something to busy myself with. Stevie wrote something on another piece of paper and put it next to me. 

S: Why are you mad at her? Just because that's what she is? Mitchy, that's not ok. 

I looked at those words for a long time not willing to answer. God, do they actually think I hate Kirstie for her sexuality? Rats! 

M: it's not about her preferences. I just don't know what's happening to me. I don't have any hate for her at all. I just don't wanna see her, hear her and even know her. 

S: You're in love. 

M: No 

S: Yes 

M: NO 

S: YES! 

M: OK... maybe. 

S: Sucks. 

M: It does. 

Stevie started thinking about the next "message" when I saw that Kirstie was looking at me sideways. I didn't look away but looked at her too. She mouthed "I'm sorry", I shook my head. What kind of a bastard am I? I want to forgive her. I really do. But my ego or whatever else isn't letting me. 

S: Try to establish contact with her. She cares for you, I can see it. I've known this chick for ages and have studied her inside and out just like she has studied me, so... don't lose hope, Mitchy ;) 

M: Not very reassuring. 

S: Yet it's the truth. Stop being like that, you make me constantly want to punch you! 

M: What's stopping you? 

I gasped when Stevie kicked me under the table with all the power she had and then instantly hit me in the shoulder. 

"Insane?" I whispered, rubbing the bruises. 

She giggled, put a finger to her lips and wrote: 

S: since today this will happen every time I see your sad/angry/pessimistic face, got it?" 

M: boop

S: How mature... 

M: boop-boop

S: Kindergarten. 

M: Ma-ma! 

S: Stop this already! Behave! Btw, kitty is coming tomorrow. We'll throw a party to celebrate her (not the entire college, just the chosen ones), so your duty us to make up with Kirstie or you'll ruin the party. 

I sighed deeply and put the paper away. I spent five minutes successively not paying attention to Stevie who was staring at me, but ended up giving in: 

"Okay! I'll talk to her!" 

"Yay!" The girl threw her hands up in victory. 

There wasn't a single free table in the canteen that day. Scott already turned around to go away but Stevie grabbed his elbow making him stay. I looked around the room again. Every single place was taken. Only one tiny table in the corner was free but it can fit two people maximum and there was five of us. Steve headed to a pair of girls already finishing their meal. Not paying attention to anybody the brunette grabbed their table and started dragging it to the corner. 

"What's wrong with you?" One of them questioned. 

Stevie didn't respond. Me, Scott, Kirstie and Casey were watching all that was happening with our mouths wide open not being able to move. 

"You're insane and crazy!" The second girl stated and both left. 

"I'm aware, I have a doctor's note!" Right shouted and turned back to us: "Are you guys frozen? Am I supposed to carry this trophy on my own?" 

Me and Hoying laughed loudly making Maldonado twist at her temple. Surprisingly my mood was getting better with every minute thanks to Stevie's crazy actions and Scott's sense of humor that seemed to be back. Kirstie stayed silent today and kept her head down. I didn't find the courage to talk to her today, deciding to leave that for the evening not paying attention to Steve aggressively kicking my feet under the table. It started raining outside. 

"Great, now you ruined the weather with your terrible mood." Right grumbled, pouting her lips. 

"Why me?" My eyes went bigger. 

"Everything is because of you. Don't even argue with that, since now I'll be blaming you for all the deadly sins of humanity!" 

Putting our jackets or simply bags on our heads we ran to the dorms. Thunderstorm intensified later in the night, lightning was happening every few seconds. Scott passed out the moment his head touched his pillow and i just layer there staring at the ceiling. I didn't talk to Kirst that day, I couldn't do it. How is that even possible? What am I going to say to her? 

The door squeaked, someone entered quietly. I turned my head facing the blonde girl who was Higgins herself. She had another long T-shirt and nothing else on. 

"What's up?" I asked lifting myself on my elbows. 

"I'm... scared of thunder." Kirstie replied, not coming closer. As if proof was needed, lightning hit and deafening thunder roared, making the windows and the guest tremble. 

I shook my head and flipped my blanket, inviting her to lay down next to me. She took her slippers off and crawled to my bed, hugging me tightly and attempting to calm down. I hugged her in reply. It feels so good next to her... So warm and cozy... 

I watched her face not daring to say anything. But there was one thing that u noticed.

"You cut your hair." 

"Only the bangs." she whispered and looked into my eyes. 

After a few seconds of silence she spoke: 

"Mitchy, don't be mad at me. Please." 

I didn't reply, just cuddled closer and kissed her forehead. To hell with grudges. I'll try to accept everything as it is. 

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Hey hey HEY! Simon here. Sorry for being absent for nearly months and hope you enjoyed this small chapter. Homely I'll upload more today🥰🥰🥰