Shadow Empire

Chapter 3

*warning - angst ? [grief] *

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It was always at night time that had her struggling the most, but it was mostly the silence that she couldn't bear. That's what went through Lisa's mind as soon as she stepped inside her chambers.

It has been three months since and she honestly don't know how she even got this far. Every day was a thick haze that it doesn't leave any trace of memory at all. For her, every passing day was just another day to get through.

Each of her step was slow as she scans her chambers, so utterly empty. Every inch and every corner, she would see him. Only him. Lisa halted her steps by the fireplace. Her fingers found its way to the chaise slowly tracing the carved frame. She can almost visualize him struggling to fit his body into it to find a comfortable position. She smiled at the memory of him falling off of it. She remembered the fits of laughter she had let out. It was the first time she ever let her guard down in front of him. She was a stranger he was forced to wed and he was the king, but it didn't stop him from accommodating her comfort in exchange of his. And that was when things started changing between them. She slowly let him in, letting him see her—truly see her. Nightmares and all. She remembers him saying 'your nightmares are also mine', true to his words and without her realizing, he was walking with her through that darkness and slowly replaced those nightmares with beautiful dreams.

There was not a day where she wished he would walk in that door and ask her how her day was or how is she still awake or that he'd scold her for staying up late waiting for him only to apologize later on for making her wait.

'I'm still waiting.' a part of her mind provided. The other half battering her to stop waiting. Why would she? She saw with her own eyes, how she lost him. How the world lost him...

She let out a deep sigh, blinked hard and shook her head as if that would whisk away the memories. There are times where she let herself remember good memories, relive it even. But there are nights like this that its hurts too much to remember, so much that it suffocates her.

She barely realized she started walking out until she felt the cold breeze on her skin from the balcony. The memories of him from that day accelerating in her head, she wanted it to stop so she could breathe. Shutting her eyes hard and clutching on her chest she breathed in and out. Images of him plunging that dagger in his chest, made her knee wobble as if she was the one who took that stab, but she held on tight to that balustrade, sobbing as she struggles for air. Everything is spinning and it felt as if the marble beneath her feet is melting as her mind continues on to show him falling off the cliff. In and out she tried to breathe. But her breaths came in gasps when he fell deep into the depths of the ocean. In and out she tried to repeat.

'Please.' She begged, sobbing incessantly. She wanted it to stop. All of it.

Her hearing was the first to return. The sound of the wind rustling the trees and carrying a tune that is quite familiar to her. She doesn't know if she was being delirious but the familiar music distracted her from the anxiety bringing her back to reality, drawing her focus to remember where she heard it from, keeping her mind away from the tragic memories. Her shallow breaths slowly turned even as she felt her feet planted on the ground and no longer floating deep under the ocean. The music stops as her eyes fluttered open, taking in her surroundings. Her mind was still asking what that tune was, but now that the music is gone, she couldn't even bring herself to replay it in her head. She doesn't remember. But she was thankful for it, it was a needed distraction—a fleeting moment of peace that kept her from shattering completely.