Happy Reading,
Stay safe.
I am lost, so lost that I don't know what to do.
I want him to be happy, but I don't want him to be happy with anyone else... I want it to be me. Earlier, I knew I could never have him, it used to hurt still, that pain was bearable. However, now thinking about him with someone else, kills me. Also, it makes me want to kill that person.
When I used to love him, I never felt like this, how I am feeling now. Every feeling... every emotion is different and so intense that it confuses me.
I don't know what the hell is going on with me!
There is a storm of emotions swirling in my heart which is consuming me.
Today, was a really tiring day. There were so many things which were pending and had to be completed. I didn't even get a chance to talk to him, and I missed him like anything. However, I wanted him to spend some time with his Dad... with his family. So it was good, that I didn't bother him, today.
Staying away from him even for a day was so difficult for me, how will I stay away from him all my life? No, I can't do that... no, I am not going to do that.
Being with him... talking to him has become an important part of my day, without which my day feels incomplete. Each day with him is becoming difficult, but still, everything seems so right. I don't mind this complexity if it means he is there with me.
Rubbing away a few frustrated tears from my eyes, I loudly sigh and get up from my bed when I hear the doorbell.
"Nobody even lets me sulk peacefully in my room," I murmur, as I drag my feet across the floor towards the door.
Closing my one eye, I look through the peephole in my door. When I see the person standing outside my door, I immediately open the door.
"Everything alright?" I panic, "Is Papa alright?" I start to question, as Ram just walks past me inside, leaving me standing on the door.
"Why aren't you answering?" I frown and close the door, following him inside, "What are you doing here?"
"Ram I am asking you something," I ask him, feeling annoyed as he is simply staring at me and not saying anything.
"Talk to me, at least say something," I half yell in annoyance, when still I didn't get any response from him after five minutes.
"Now, you understand how I feel?" he finally speaks, as he arches an eyebrow.
"Huh?"
"This is exactly how I feel when you don't talk to me, annoyed... frustrated. Even when I have asked you that you will tell me what is bothering you. But still, instead of telling me, you try to hide it from me," the muscles in his arms flex when he crosses them over his chest.
"Nothing is bothering me, I am just really tired," I sigh and walk over to the couch and sit.
How can I tell him what is actually bothering me when I myself don't know what it is.
"I know you are tired," he gives a sympathetic smile, "But something is troubling you too. And if you don't get this until now, let me tell you, you can't hide anything from me. Even if you want," he says with an expectant gaze.
"Ram, stop pestering me, there is nothing to tell," I say sternly, while feeling the frustration building inside me as my eyes start to water.
Why can't he just stop asking?
