The Art of Starting Over

Chapter 17 - U-Turn

A thunderous bang jostles me out of my deep sleep and I instinctively raise my arm over my eyes until they adjust to the bright light. I look around me, momentarily confused as to why I am on the living room sofa sprawled sideways across Jeremy's chest. His arm is wrapped around me, his head leaning over mine. A light blanket is neatly draped over us. We must have fallen asleep during the movie. I don't remember fetching the blanket though.

My groggy puzzle-piecing skills are interrupted by another round of aggressive knocking at the front door.

"Open up! I know you're here, Ally!"

Sosa?

I look around for my phone and remember it's still in my bag. I sweep my eyes across the floor but I can't see it anywhere. Nor can I see my shoes. I'm sure I left them by the door yesterday. Millie must have cleared everything out of the way before leaving for work.

Oh no... Millie!

The heat rises to my cheeks at the realisation of where the blanket came from. She must have seen us this morning, limbs entangled on the sofa. I suppress a loud groan and try to get up without waking Jeremy. He adjusts himself to a more comfortable position and I remove the blanket. The room is warm and his forehead is glistening with a thin film of sweat.

Sosa bashes one of the fish-shaped knockers heavily against the door again and I run to answer her before she breaks it down, or worse, wakes up Jeremy.

"Hey! What's up?" I greet her with a low voice, stepping out and pulling the door carefully behind me to hide The Boss from view.

"I'll tell you what's up!" she answers fiercely resting her hands on her hips. "Derek just called to tell me that Shaun showed up at his apartment after your date last night, crying his eyes out because you broke up with him."

I squint back at her, my brain sluggishly processing her outburst.

"Well?" she asks expectantly, fiery eyes glowing with rage.

"Well, what?" I stutter perplexedly. She raises her eyebrows and turns a furious shade of scarlet. "Sosa, we weren't on the same page and I didn't want to lead him on. I had to end it," I explain truthfully.

"Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you agreed to go to that restaurant with him," she fires. "Even you can't be that thick not to see where that was headed!"

"What? You were the one who kept begging me to give him a chance!" 

"But you didn't give him a chance at all, did you? You broke up with him!"

The air stills with anticipation. No chirping birds, no barking chihuahua, no neighbours gossiping on the steps. I hear the tiniest creak of a window somewhere further up the alleyway but I ignore it and try to focus on why Sosa is angry. Is it because I broke up with Shaun or because I didn't do it soon enough?

But then, the front door gives way behind me and my blood plummets straight to my toes. I stand paralysed as Sosa's eyes drift upwards and away from my face. They grow wide and dark and scorching, like the eye of an angry volcano.

"Ally? Is everything okay?" Jeremy's voice says groggily from behind me. 

I turn around slowly, praying that my head is playing tricks on me. Hoping against hope that the blue doors are still shut and that Jeremy is still sleeping soundly on Nanna's couch. But he is right there, gloriously filling up the doorway, one hand on the frame, the other scratching the back of his head as he suppresses a yawn.

His eyes are heavy with sleep, scrunched up against the bright sunlight. His face is paler than usual and, not having yet donned his usual condescending expression, he looks younger, softer somehow. The zipper of my purple hoodie is all the way down exposing his ripped chest. His mass of black hair is an orchestrated mess on top of his head. My breath hitches and suddenly, all my brain cells can focus on is how I have never seen him look so beautiful.

Sosa gasps behind me, the sound breaking me from the spell that is Jeremy with his guard down and I turn to see her eying him suspiciously. She looks at me, and then back at him. I see her adding up the numbers in her head and I can tell, as her eyes grow big and round again, that the answer is a long way from the truth.

"Good morning, Stephanie," Jeremy says, suddenly standing straight, bright eyes darting between her and myself.

Sosa draws in a long breath from her dragonish nose and turns her gaze angrily on me. She's seconds away from blowing up and I brace myself for the eruption.

"You lying cheat!" she screams pointing a blue-polished finger in my face. "This why you broke up with Shaun? So, you can get with him? I told you to stay away from him!"

I feel Jeremy recoil behind me. I open my mouth and close it several times, wanting to tell Sosa that she has it all wrong, but my vocabulary seems to have been diminished to that of a goldfish.

"Stephanie," Jeremy's warning tone echoes in my ears at the same time I feel his hand wrap gently around my arm.

"And you!" she wheels on Jeremy. "How could you? She's not one of your whores!"

"Watch it, Sosa! There's no need to be ugly," I snap, finally finding my voice.

But she is looking at us like we're decomposed cockroaches on the bottom of her shoe. "You know what?" she says her voice quivering with rage. "Do whatever you like. You deserve each other!"

And with that, she turns on her heels and huffs down the steps leaving me rooted on the doorstep trying to make sense of what just happened. Flickers of sunlight reflect off the blinds as they turn all around us for the eyes behind them to get a better view. Jeremy tugs on my arm, trying to turn me to face him but I shrug him off. I can't just let Sosa get away without explaining what happened, or rather, what didn't.

"Sosa, wait," I yell, running down the steps barefoot. "Wait!"

I grab the straps of her bag as I catch up with her. "You've got it all wrong!" I start catching my breath. "It's not what it looks like. Jeremy came over yesterday just as I was leaving for my date with Shaun because he wanted to give me... something. Anyway, that's not important. When I came back, he was still in the living room." She raises a disbelieving brow at me. "It's true! He was watching re-runs of Ipokriti with Millie." 

Sosa rolls her eyes at me and turns to leave again, but I get hold of her shoulder. "We just talked Sos! Well, we argued, actually. But that's it! We argued and talked and watched a movie and fell asleep on the couch. Nothing happened, I promise."

Sosa crosses her arms resolutely over her chest. "You said you don't like him," she says, her voice trembling. "You said you find him irritating."

"I don't! I mean, I do!" I fumble for the right words.

"You lied to me," she goes on. "And you made me look like a fool. I was the one who set you up. I should have known better. All you do is push people away. How am I supposed to tell Derek?"

"This has nothing to do with Derek. And I didn't lie! There is nothing going on between me and Jeremy. How many times do I have to tell you? The reason I broke up with Shaun is because he said he loves me and, obviously, I don't!"

She stops to consider this and for a brief moment, I think I finally get through to her. But then, her expression becomes stubborn again.

"I don't believe you," she states.

"Ask him! Ask Derek! I'm sure Shaun told him what happened," I beg.

"No! I don't believe that there is nothing going on between you and Jeremy. Even if it is true that nothing happened last night, which I doubt after seeing him half-naked in your living room. I mean, why would he wait for you to come back from your date?"

"He wasn't waiting for me-"

"I'm not stupid, Ally!" she interrupts again. "He is after you and you're playing right into his hands! He's going to break your heart!"

I stare at her open-mouthed. I don't know what else I can say to convince her she's wrong about him. It's not like that with me. And it won't ever be because... because it's just not like that.

Sosa's eyes glisten and turn up to the sky as she tries to hold back the tears. When I don't say anything she turns around and for the second time leaves me feeling helpless and alone as the unmoving alley secretly watches.