Living with Noah Parker.

☂ Chapter Twelve ☂

Dedicated, to those of us who have ever had their hearts broken.

Meghan’s P.O.V

There were imaginary weights on my chest, refusing to allow any oxygen in.

I couldn’t breathe, it hurt too much.

I felt so empty, like he'd taken a piece of me away leaving an unhealable scar behind, one that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

I turned away from him and ran, and ran and ran.

He called out to me, but I didn’t stop.

It’s over.

Tears cascaded down my face and I clutched my ears, trying to block out the sound of his voice playing those words in a loop in my head. I couldn't breathe, there was so much pain I wanted to collapse. I couldn't feel anything but pain, a throbbing sensation in my heart , one that wouldn't leave me alone.

I didn’t know where I was going, where me legs were taking me, all I knew was I had to get away. Get away from him. Get away from everybody and everything.

My vision was blurred as I ran to my hearts content until I found myself in the graveyard, collapsed in front of my parents’ grave. Coming here had always been a source of comfort for me, I felt like I could feel their presence even though they weren’t there. I’d stay here and cry drowning my sorrows and letting down all the walls I’d built up. I’d lose track of time, wondering whether the pain would ever stop, wondering if Mum and Dad would ever come back, even if it was just to say goodbye properly.

I’d sit here for hours on end until I’d finally calm myself down. The tears would stop and I think I was done but then I’d remember that they were gone, gone forever, and the sobs would begin again, harder, stronger, more painful.

“Mum, Dad,” I choked out. Their smiling faces flashing through my mind, making the tears flow even harder, like acid burning through my skin. So many tears that my vision was blurred, so much pain that I was shaking uncontrollably.

I laughed mirthlessly because I knew they couldn’t hear me and my god, I wished they could just come down and comfort me. I just wanted to smell Mum’s perfume when she enveloped me in a tight hug and hear dad say ‘It’ll be all right kiddo’ in his coarse voice.

It had been two years since they’d left and each day it got tougher and tougher knowing that I’d never see them again. I was so mad at them for leaving me alone in this cruel world. “I still can’t believe you’re gone,” I said my thoughts aloud like maybe they'd hear and come back, my voice hoarse and broken from crying but it was nothing compared to how broken my insides were.

The sky was dark and filled with grey clouds and before I knew it, the heavens had opened and poured down on me. Water soaked into my hair and ran down my face, merging with my tears. There were so many feelings, so many emotions that I couldn’t feel anything but the agony in my chest, everything else felt numb.

“I love you so much Cole,” I screamed, tilting my head back to look up at the sky. “You promised to never let me go.” My tears flowed like never ending waterfalls of depression, the hole in my heart was getting bigger and bigger every second that I was separated from him. No matter how much he hurt me the fact would remain that I loved him with all my heart. I always had and I always would and now he was gone because he didn't even love me and it was like being slapped in the face, like evrything inside of me felt out of place.

I never wanted to hurt him; I just wanted to help him. Why couldn’t he just open up to me, was I that untrustworthy?

I stood up shakily, the rain calming me down as it lashed against my fragile skin.