Amethyst 3.Transcend

*n i n e t e e n t h : c l o s e r

Dusk turned into night and the room was slowly shadowed under darkness.

We remained silent. I felt comforted by his presence but somehow like a criminal. I knew none of us had forgotten how we had left things. How I had told him I was in love with Crystal. How I had hurt him. The agony on his face still ripped me apart.

I could feel the heat of his body radiating from him and slowly moved closer, my heart hammering in my chest. I felt an intense urge to be close to him, but at the same time, I was terrified.

"Aris..." I whispered. We lay side by side, close and yet somehow far. I rose, placing my elbows on the mattress and hovered over him. He turned his face towards me, his lips slightly parted. I could see the enigmatic moonlight reflecting off his irises, making them look even more alluring. His hair tumbled onto his forehead. It struck me anew how beautiful he was, and yet, some hidden sadness remained in his features.

"Are you okay with this?" I asked softly, knowing he hated the dark. However, he was putting up remarkably well until then. When he spoke, he was breathless, which made me realize that his demeanour was just a facade. I leaned over him and brushed my lips against his forehead, my heart fluttering and stomach clenched in anticipation.

He sighed softly. "Yeah," he answered, his voice hoarse. "I need to get over it."

I gazed at him silently, my heart full. I wished I could give him everything, and I still didn't feel ready. What if I never did? Would letting him go be the right thing to do?

Perhaps.

But I didn't know how to live without him.

I was too used to gazing into his eyes, too comforted by his scent, too enamoured by his beauty, too in love with his existence.

I kissed him tenderly, trying to put into the gesture the unsaid words. He had called me back when I was so close to the darkness. Despite the suffocation, my heart had heeded to his call. 

"Aris..." I whispered, feeling the constant yearning in me claw to the surface. The ever-present longing for him. I coaxed his mouth open with mine, my heart on fire when our tongues met. I half expected him to push me away, but he didn't. He was careful, his hands framing my face, caressing tenderly. "Were you...scared?"

I didn't know what I expected him to answer. I was constantly terrified that one of these days everything would be too much for him and he would leave. I knew it was much healthier for him to leave, and yet selfishly, I couldn't fathom the mere thought.

He gazed at me, his eyes pits of sadness where my heart spiralled. "I was scared...you wouldn't return," he answered, stroking my bottom lip with his thumb. "I didn't...expect you to heed to me. Because I know...that..."

He stuttered to a stop, as if the next words were too painful for him. What had he meant to say? That I was in love with someone else? Perhaps. Was I love with him? Definitely. But I didn't have the courage to tell him.

"How are things...at your home?" I asked. "With..." I didn't want to utter the name of his stepmother, knowing how things had gone down at the wedding.

"My father still hates me," he said, smiling sadly. "He wants me to see Felicity. But... I keep avoiding it. Sometimes I think..." his lower lip trembled and he bit it. "I think maybe it would be easier to just get it over with. Just...give my father whatever he wants. It would be the much easier alternative," he shook his head as my heart lurched in anguish. "And people talk, Zeke. I'm eighteen. Almost nineteen and haven't had any girlfriends yet. People...say stuff."

"You could just tell him you haven't...found anyone you really like that way yet," I answered, my heart breaking at the very real thought that he would go through and yield to Victor's wishes. "That is understandable right?"