Sanada One Shot Collection

Head or Heart

Pairing: Sanada/FC

Category: Angst

Word Count: 871

Warnings: language, sexual references

"I can only take you in small doses" - Small Doses by Bebe Rexha

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You say "let me try you on"

And so I let you try me on

That's the moment that we fell in deep

Oh baby, I said "just a little bit"

Then I got a taste of it

Now you got me falling at your feet

He may just be the most infuriating man you had ever met. So why did you keep falling into his bed at little more than a snap of his fingers? He certainly wasn't interested in more than the occasional fuck from you. Sanada had made that abundantly clear. You weren't getting any younger. You should step away from him and focus your efforts and finding a relationship instead messing around with some playboy.

He certainly didn't treat you with anything resembling respect. At times you weren't even certain he remembered your name. That you were just a number in his phone to call when he was horny and didn't want to expend effort to sate his needs. Then he could make you feel like you were the only woman on earth with his smooth flowing words and husky promises. Until he got what he wanted from you and kicked you out that was.

You knew the cycle, knew what he was about the second his name popped up on your phone, yet you kept answering and running to see him. He would drag out the time between calls just enough to have you wondering if he was finally through with you. Long enough for you to start doubting yourself, wondering what you had done wrong to make him stop calling. About the time you were a mess of self-deprecation he would light up your phone.

I didn't mean to fall in love

Took one hit and I was gone

Gotta get my fix so I can sleep

Oh, baby, you're the one they warned about

Now I just can't do without

Baby, it's my appetite you feed

Somehow along this journey you had fallen for him. You hadn't told him, but you were sure he knew. That's why he got away with treating you the way he did. How you had developed these feelings you were at a loss to explain. He gave you nothing to fall for, so how did you? These were the questions floating in your head as you dressed to meet him once again. It was a long process trying to decide which outfit would please the notoriously picky man the most. Sanada preferred you to look classy and put together. After the first couple of times you had learned to take a second outfit to make it home in. As much as he liked you all prim and proper he preferred shattering the illusion much more.

"Knees." Was his greeting when you appeared at his front door, turning his back on you as he expected you to meet his demands without question. Closing the door you knelt on the cold marble in his entryway staying silent as you waited for him to deign to give you attention. You were confused as you watched him at the side table, sliding his wallet into his pants pocket and phone into his jacket as he pulled it on. Straighten out the wrinkles he gave himself a cursory once over before approaching you.

"I wonder how long you'll kneel for me," He mused staring down at you with an impassive expression.

"As long as you want," You answered quickly tongue darting out to lick your lips as you stared at his groin that was at your eye level.

"I guess we'll see," Sanada smirked patting you patronizingly on the head then stepping around you to open the door.

"Where are you going?" You asked looking over your shoulder at him with confusion clear on your face.

"I have plans. I expect you to be right where I left you when I return. If you're not, then I won't be calling you again." He shut the door behind him leaving you kneeling in the expansive entry way tears welling in your eyes.

How had you sunk so low? Were you really going to stay here, waiting god knows how long for him to return? Your head was screaming at you to rise and leave Sanada far behind. Your heart was urging you to stay, confident this was some kind of final test from Sanada to determine if you were worthy. But you didn't believe that. Not really.

Before you could talk yourself out of it you rose to your feet glaring at the now empty home. How dare he? Who did he think he was to treat you like a dog? Expecting you to wait patiently for his return then bend to his every whim when he did.

"Fuck you Sanada." You said to the empty air. "You can go to hell."

I can only take you in small doses, small doses

Loving you, it's explosive, you know this

I can only take you in small doses, small doses

Loving you, it's explosive, you know this

I can only take you in small doses