Sanada One Shot Collection

Holding On

Pairing: Sanada/FC

Category: Angst

Word Count: 590

Warnings: none really, light mention of sexual content

"When you hold me tonight, don't close your eyes." - Don't Close Your Eyes by Keith Whitley

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Being someone's second choice was a foreign feeling to Sanada. He didn't like it. It would figure that when, for the first time in a very long time, he had committed to someone that she would be hung up on an old lover.

I know you loved him, a long time ago

Even now in my arms, you still want him I know

But darling this time, your memories dieWhen you hold me tonight, don't close your eyes

Sanada propped himself up on his elbow, staring down at her sleeping peacefully with a smile on her lips. It should make him happy, but he knew that smile wasn't for him. Only seconds ago her old lover's name had fallen from those beautiful lips. When it became obvious where that dream was going Sanada rolled away and climbed out of the bed, grabbing his pillow and heading for the couch. He couldn't lie next to her another night and listen to her moan and writhe for another man.

At first it hadn't really bothered him. Sanada wasn't a long term guy, hell most of the time he wasn't even short term; but this time was different. There was something about her that drew him in, her beauty, elegance and class. Day by day he started falling for her. She was intelligent and witty and didn't seem to give a damn about his money. By day it was almost perfect, though he would occasionally catch her with a sad smile and faraway look in her eyes. Though she downplayed it and reassured him that she no longer had feelings for her ex, the nighttime didn't lie.

Maybe I've, been a fool, holding on all this time

Lying here in your arms, knowing he's in your mind

But I keep hoping someday, that you'll see the light

Let it be tonight and don't close your eyes

Laying on the couch Sanada stared at the ceiling with mounting frustration. He was floundering, at a loss as to what to do. A feeling he didn't like. How was he supposed to win her over when she hung so tightly onto the past? She would even look at him when they were intimate. Her eyes closed as Sanada made her writhe beneath his talented fingers and tongue. It pissed him off that she was thinking of another man while he was driving her insane with lust. It was a mission to get her to moan his name. Thus far he had failed spectacularly.

Rolling onto his side Sanada tried to fall asleep, but his mind kept whirling with thoughts of his relationship. He loved her. He didn't want to walk away. Yet he didn't know how many more nights he could take of her dreaming about someone else while lying next to him. It was killing him and his self-preservation instincts were kicking in, telling him to run before he got too deep. He knew what he had to do, but Sanada couldn't quite bring himself to do it. He kept holding on, hoping to see some glimmer of hope for their future.

Don't close your eyes, let it be me

Don't pretend it's him, in some fantasy

Darling just once, let yesterday go

And you'll find more love than you'll ever know

Just hold me tight, when you love me tonight

And don't close your eyes