Strangers

018

Shiho does not really know how to focus at the moment. They were in the classroom, and her teacher was busy explaining quantum dynamics but her mind seems to be thinking something different. ’Or maybe someone’, she corrects.

Every time she thought of what happened yesterday, she can’t help but mentally slap her self for being awkward and stupid. After that incident, she quickly left the detective in the library after muttering “Let me think about it,” so fast that she was not sure if the detective understood or not. She almost ran, for Pete’s sake, and she did not care if she looks stupid. She just wanted to escape from him or from any emotion that are trying to resurface. She needs time to think, really.

She did not tell Geneva what happened. She will surely flip out, and tease her to death.

The ringing of the bell indicating dismissal pulled her out from her train of thoughts. She mindlessly puts her notes on her bag, and stood up. She does not want to go home with Geneva today. She walked towards her friend and told her she wanted to go home alone. Although puzzled from her request, Geneva did not push her and just nodded.

She was walking on the hallway when she remembered she had to see the results of her experiment in the lab. She needs the result today because she will report it to her professor early tomorrow. Without second thoughts, she turned around and headed to the back part of the building where the laboratory is located.

‘Oh, how I hate deadlines.’ She thought. She knew she will definitely go home late today.

***

A few hours passed when she finished her report. Shiho looked outside the window and was surprised because it was getting dark. She did not notice the time and now the sun was already setting. She sighed as she gathers her things.

She was exiting the gates when a hand suddenly grabs her, propelling her to turn around. The angry face of Kudo Shinichi greeted her surprised façade. She felt her heartbeat speed up at the sight of him. He was looking at her with a serious expression, his jaw clenching from anger that the scientist did not understand.

“Where the hell were you?!” he hissed, his grip on her arm unconsciously tightening.

She winced, a bit hurt from the contact. “What are you doing here?” she asked him, not really answering his question.

Shinichi’s ears panted. “I’ve been waiting here in ages!” he exclaimed. “I thought something happened to you, and you just asked me what am I doing here?!” he scoffed.

Shiho yanked her hand from him before she answered coldly, “Nobody told you to wait for me.”

The detective looked at her in exasperation. “I can’t believe you!” he scoffed. He caught her hand again. “Let’s talk.” He stated seriously.

“Can it wait?” she replied, trying to sound irritated. “I have a deadline coming up.”

“Geneva told me you should’ve finished your paper by now.” He pointed out flatly.

Shiho just murdered her friend in her mind. Geneva have to stop feeding him information about her.

“Well, something just came up and I need to go. Bye.” She stated, as she pulled her hands free from him again, and walked past the detective. He was fast to caught her wrist with his hand though.

“I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” he exclaimed, his voice an octave higher because of frustration.

“And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!” Shiho snickered as she rolled her eyes on him.

The detective looked at her in disbelief. “What the…” he panted, not wanting to curse, before he pulled her hand and drag her away from the university. Shiho gasps, definitely caught off guard.

They walked for some time, his right hand still snaked on her wrist. As much as she would like to escape, it was impossible to escape from his tight grip. They stopped at some abandoned playground across the street. There was no one else but them, and there was one street lamp in the corner that serves as the only source of illumination. The sun had completely gone down. He let go of her hand and face her seriously. She was having trouble seeing his face in the dark.

Shiho caressed her hand that he held just seconds ago. She can still feel the warmth that lingered in her skin.

“You…” the detective started, his fist clenching from frustration. He can feel his emotions starting to spill. He can feel a sting in the corner of his eyes. He was in pain, and he knew he told her he will wait patiently but it’s starting to become too much. He can feel a crack in his heart. He decided to let it all out before it will destroy him.

"Is this what you want, huh?" he asked with obvious anger. There was a bitter edge in his voice.

Shiho looked at him, her brows furrowing in confusion.

The detective continued even before she can figure out what he was pertaining to. “You disappeared as if you’d never see me again...made me miss you so much that I almost went crazy. Then you reappeared before me only to become a stranger who treated me so coldly. Now, every time I tried to approach you, you ran away like I was irrelevant. Is it fun for you to toy with someone’s feelings?" he asked her with bitterness and hurt.

He never wanted to tell her those words but his feelings were beyond his tipping point. It was as if the words has their own lives, and he can't help but let it all out in the open. It's infuriating.

Their conversations were starting to become a cycle of neverending pursuit.

Like he was always chasing.

And she was always running.

He took a deep breath before he continued, "When will you believe that all my feelings for you are true?"

The crack in the detective's voice made Shiho shudder. He was hurting. And it was because of her --her stubborness to accept him, and to accept that somehow, she deserves whatever is he offering right now.

She faced him sharply, and she can feel a sting in her eyes. She immediately took off her glasses and wipe the corner of her eyes. She looked at him and she heard a crack in her heart when his cobalt eyes meet her turquoise ones. His eyes were glistening with pain, tears threatening to fall at any second.

She decided to tell the truth before she even change her mind. "Was it fun...for me?" she scoffed. "These feelings are killing me, Kudo-kun." she confessed. "Everytime I took a step away from you, it feels as if I'm leaving a part of me behind, and it's killing me."

The detective's eyes widened at her confession. It took him a while to realize what she was saying. "Then, are you..." he started to ask but the scientist cuts him off.

"I am." she answered, even though it was an unfinished question. If it was even possible, Shinichi's eyes widened even more.

“When you missed me, I missed you a hundred times more. I wanted to hold you when you look at me, and I wanted to be by your side. I wanted to go back too, Kudo-kun." she whispered, but he still heard every word. "Just like the old times."

"Then why--" he asked in confusion.

Shiho shakes her head, "You don't understand."

"What?"

"We can't be together, Kudo-kun. We can never be together."

A tear fell.

***

the end?