The Whys of Us

46

In the morning, Rhysand registers how warm it is, first.

Like the left side isn't empty.

They're on her bed. They moved here after last night, and they—they wanted more. Passed out in exhaustion after Rhysand cleans them up.

And then—and then he registers that Sanford is sitting up, hunching over herself, shoulders shaking. Like she's crying.

Rhysand sits up. Blinks away the sleep out of his eyes. "Hey," he says softly, moving closer. "Hey, why're you crying, sunshine?"

She doesn't look at him. "Because this is hurting me," she whispers.

Rhysand tenses.

He puts his hands on her shoulders and turns her around to face him. He searches her face—and she—she looks confused, and lost, and in pain, and Rhysand doesn't know what to do. "You regret it?" he asks quietly.

"No," she answers quickly, shaking her head.

"Then what is it? Talk to me."

Sanford wipes her cheeks with the back of her hand. "I—I don't know what's going to happen to us."

Rhysand stares at her. "What do you mean?"

"You're famous, Rhys," she says softly, hugging her knees, like she's covering up. There are bruises all over her skin, and Rhysand resists the urge to kiss each of them. "I—I come back to you, and then—then what? My pictures resurface? I go through it again?"

Rhysand sucks in a deep breath. "Sunshine—"

"And I live here," she says, swallowing hard, keeping his gaze. "And you live back in South Bend. I don't...I don't think I'm ready to go back there yet."

"Then I'll stay with you," he answers without blinking. No hesitation. "Anywhere you want. I'll follow you everywhere."

Sanford stays quiet.

"If—" Rhysand inhales shakily. "If you want me."

She sniffles, biting her lip. "Of course I want you," she says, sobbing, shaking her head. "I want you always."

Rhysand grabs her hand. Locks their fingers together. "I won't lose you again."

"Rhys—"

"If Sterling decides to lose me," he continues fiercely, clenching his jaw, "I'll be fine. I can still make music. I have money, I have credibility. I'm not going to lose my career, don't be worried about that."

She squeezes his fingers tightly.

"And if the pictures resurface," Rhysand says, brushing his thumb over her knuckles, "we'll get lawyers. We'll do everything we can to stop them. I'll get a legal team and everything."

"Rhys," she chokes out, shaking her head. "Rhys, this is too much—"

"And if you're not ready to come back to South Bend yet," he says, inhaling shakily, "then you don't have to. You stay wherever you want. And I'll—I'll be wherever you want."

She cups his jaw. Brushes her thumb over his cheek.

And then she smiles, and it feels like the fucking sun. "I like the school here. The work."

Rhysand nods. "Okay."

"And the teachers are nice. The kids are lovely."

"That's great, sunshine. I'm glad."

"And my—my neighbors are nice, too," she says. Sanford stares at him and whispers, "Can you—can you still wait for me? Can you give me more time to be brave again?"

"Yes," Rhysand answers quickly. Kisses her wrist. "I don't care how long it takes."

Her smile grows wider. She leans into him, buries her head on his shoulder. "You've always been the more patient one."

Rhysand runs his hand down her back. "Can I—can I call? And message?"

She nods. "Yes," she whispers.

"Can I visit you here? Can I—come?"

She nods again. "Yes."

"Can I get you hot water in your shower?"

Sanford laughs.

She throws her head back and laughs, and Rhysand's heart bursts again.

"I love you," Rhysand says, pressing his forehead to hers. "My sunshine," he breathes, "I love you with everything that I am."

Sanford kisses him. Says the words right back.

It feels like home.

*

Rhysand turns thirty.

Happy birthday, my love. I'll come back to you soon. :)

Rhysand smiles. I'll be waiting. And thank you, sunshine.

*

Sanford turns twenty-five, and then their supposed sixth anniversary passes, and Trey and Rhysand spend Christmas in Parkway, and they drink beer until they're drunk, and Trey calls his daughter, and Rhysand tells her he hung up the star, and that he'll wait until he can spend Christmas with her again.

Rhysand waits. And waits, and waits, and waits.

He'll return the box. The—the box with the things she stole. She'll get them back.

Rhysand doesn't mind waiting. He doesn't mind waiting—so long as she comes back to him.

*

and that's a wrap!!! i'm also 21 today, so i decided to finish TWOU on my birthday!!

thank you so so much for reading. i read every comment you left, and they made my day.

please don't judge the songs on the next chapter, i decided to give songwriting/poetry (?) a try! it's a little look on what rhysand wrote and produced for andy :D

if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask, i'll answer every single one!

thank you so much. i love you guys. thank you.