Forget Me Not (Completed)

Our Date Day

I woke up that Saturday to a new text.

Benny: I need to get out of the house. Want to do something?
Jay: I thought you were sick?
Benny: I'm feeling better... and I miss you.
Jay: cool. Meet me at the park... I missed you too.
I smiled and placed my phone in my pocket pulling on a pair of black skinny jeans, and a button down shirt. I stopped and did a once over in the mirror, running a hand through my hair. Ever since we met when we were little, the park had been our spot. It was halfway between our houses, which made it the perfect meeting place. Besides it was in walking distance. I hopped on my bike racing to get to the park. Benny was already waiting for me. The snow was starting to melt, but the ground still had a melty layer. He sat at a picnic bench underneath a large tree.
"Hi Stranger." I said sitting down at the table. He gave me a weak smile. I stopped to take in his appearance; his skin was pale and colorless, his hair was messy and brittle, while being mostly hid under his hat. His eyes even appeared to be slightly sunken, with deep bags and worry lines surrounding them. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." He said quickly. "I just wanted to see you this weekend."
"I'm not complaining." I said holding his gloved hand. "It's just... what was the deal with you getting sick?"
"I...I have a weak immune system." He said. "But I want to talk about you today. Are you trying out for swim?"
"I was going to try to spend time on more recent developments." I said shooting him an awkward smile.
"Absolutely not. You love swim more than anything." He said quickly.
"Alright. I won't quit swim." I said holding up my hands.
"I think we need to talk." He said quietly.
"About what?"
"About what happened." He said quickly.
"The kiss?"
"Yes the kiss." He said slowly. "I... I think that wasn't fair of me." He hid his face behind his hands.
"I kissed you!" I said a little too loudly.
"It's just... you're already trying to give things up for me. I can't ask you to do that. It isn't fair of me to...to waste your time on something that isn't going to happen. It isn't fair of me to lead you on like this."
"Benny. I don't care. I'd give up anything if it'd make you happy. I don't even mind if you lead me on. I want you. I want to be with you. And I have faith that with time even if you don't love me now, you'd fall for me." I said turning to a smile at the end.
"Falling for you isn't the problem. Don't think that I don't love you. Because I do." He said refusing to hold eye contact.
"Then what is the problem?"
"Me! I'm the problem. I'm a terrible person. I can't be with you, even if I want to. I can't be that person. I can't... I can't do that to you." He said grasping my hand, but then letting it fall to the table. "I'm never going to be able to be totally honest with you." He whined to himself. I slowly lifted up his chin.
"You can use me, and lie to me, and lead me on, but I don't care." I smiled holding his face in my hands.
"That's the issue!" He said breaking away, and pulling his legs up to wrap his arms around them. I walked around to the other side of the picnic bench, and wrapped my arms around him tipping my head upside down to meet his. He looked up at me, and the corners of his mouth tugged into a timid smile. I leaned in and kissed his frown away.
"I want this. I want you. We're best friends. I know everything about you. You're not a bad person, and you're no lier." I said still leaning over him, head upside down. I took his hand pulling him up.
"I'll race you to the swings." I said taking off.
"That's not fair, you run so much faster than I do, Jay." He called after me. When we got there I pushed him on the swings a few times. Both of us ending up laughing away our fears.