last chapter (1)

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P.C:"to ye to achi baat ha na baby wo bhi tujh se bht pyar krta ha...aj se nahi shuru se...
Sana:"nahi hoga mere se dobara sab....tujhe to pta ha na kiya halat thi meri uske bna...no I can't go through that again...she ruthlessly rubbed her eyes..." bus ab aor nahi and she left
Two three days passed Sidhart was giving her time to think...he thought she would contact him now that she knows he loves her but no she didn't....finally he called p.c
Sid:"kesi ha wo?"
P.C:"sid I don't think she is gonna come back to u....she has been hurt badly in the past and now she doesn't hv the courage left to love anyone even you"
Sidhart now realized how big of a mistake he has done...although he left her for her own good but he didn't realise at that time he loved her...or there would come a day when he couldn't be able to breath without her.....he thought it was just an emotional attachment and nothing else but it wasn't and what sana felt at that time sid was feeling the same now...and now he could understand her pain...she was pushing him away the same way he once pushed her...and he understood how bad it felt...almost like dying....
Sana was reading a book in her room when someone knocked on the door p.c wasn't home so she went to open the door it was sidhart
He was standing right infront of her....
He just looked at her...she was looking innocent and cute as always...wearing a white tea shirt and shorts...sid just hugged her and kissed her on the cheek
Sidhart:"kesi ha baby...kiya hua tha tere ko us din bol mujhe?"
Sana:"u said to stop u if I don't love u and I stopped you" she was not looking in his eyes
Sidhart:"Shehnaaz khatem ker na yaar ab bht hi gaya I am tired"
Sana:"mein ne khatam ker diya"
Sid held her by her arms:"so u are saying you don't love me"
Sana just kept quiet....
Sid just shook her:"bol na bta kiya tujhe mujh se pyar nahi ha..."
Sana just lift up her hand to show him a beautiful ring...
Sid just kept looking at her hand....he knew what it meant he just couldn't believe that...
Sid:"Ye kiya baqwas ha"
Sana:" Ronak asked me to marry him...wo mera bht khayal rakhta ha....so..
Sid cut her:"so you decided to marry him...what a joke..."he laughed sarcastically
But the next moment he held her tightly from both arms...his grip was so strong her arms started hurting but he didn't care...
Sid:"why are you doing this huh...tujhe ye sab mazak lag raha ha...abhi tera carrier start hua ha ....aor tu shadi ker rahi ha...wo bhi us bande se jis se tu pyar bhi nahi karti ....ya fir aek minute...kahen tujhe us se pyar to nahi ho gaya...bol ...jawab de sana" he shouted
Sana angrily let her arms free....
Sana:"Nahi karti usse pyar...tujhse pyar krti thi...aor krti rahun gi...per mein tere pass wapis kabhi nahi aun gi ...lagi samajh..."
She was so angry her whole face became red
Sana:"krti thi na tujhse pyar...bolti thi na tere ko din mein 10 bar that I love you...kiya hua ...tu ne chor diya tha na mere ko...to bus ab dobara nahi ker sakti mn wo sab...sorry lekin mujh se wo sab repeat nahi hoga...I love you but I don't believe in love anymore"
Sid couldn't speak for a moment there was so much hurt in her eyes...his own eyes became wet..he cupped her face in his hands...and wipped her tears...
Sid:"tu ache se janti ha tere liye chora tha tujhe..."
Sana:"oh comeon...sidhart...tujhe pta ha sach kiya ha per tu na face nahi krna chahta to thek ha I won't get into that"
Sid didn't understand what she was talking about
Sid:"tu kiya kehna chahti ha mujhe samajh nahi aya"
Sana :"chor behter ha mujhe jane de" and she tried to leave but sid held her hand...
Sid:"nahi tu bol tujhe jo bolna ha...ya fir tere pass bolne ke liye kuch ha hi nahi ...u are just trying to hurt me back ...u are just satisfying ur ego"
Sana just looked at him in surprise how could he think that she would go away from his life just to satisfy her ego....she grabbed him by his collars
Sana"Mr Sidhart shukla tu na bht bari ghalat fehmi mein ji raha ha...to sun...tujhe lagta ha ke tu ne mujhe chora take mein tujhse affect na hn apna rasta banaun bla bla bla...but that's not the whole truth...you aways had a choice ye sab tu mujhe apne pass rakh ker bhi samjha sakta tha...per tu ne mujhe chora apni insecurity ki waja se....kunke tujhe humesha lagta tha ke I will leave you for someone more young or someone more funny or successful kunke tujhe lagta tha ke jise mein pyar bolti hn wo mera bachpana tha but you started getting serious about me so before I left u ...you made urself distant to protect urself from me...not to protect me...got it."
Sidhart just stood there listening to her....this was something he even hid from himself....all his life he had been scared of commitments ...cz he didn't want to get hurt...somewhere deep down...there were some old scars that didn't heal well ...the hurt of being left by a loved one....that pain he didn't want to experience and now wd this girl he feared to get hurt again...
He couldn't believe she would read him to this level
Sana:"but tujh se aek mistake ho gai sidhart...jise tu mera bachpana samajh raha tha ..that was my love...per tu samajh nahi paya...tujhe pta ha kitni takleef hui thi...itni ke wo shabdon mein boli nahi ja sakti...you made me turn into urself ....ab teri tarhan mujhe bhi pyar se dar lagta ha...so yes I don't love Ronak and that's why I accepted his proposal kunke kal agr wo mujhe chor ker chala bhi gaya to mujhe utna dard nahi hoga...I will be able to handle it."
And she left him there and went to her room...
He just stood there ....thinking about all that she said.
The next few days were difficult for Sidhart as he never thought she would take such a decision....he knew she is marrying someone else just to keep herself away from him...just cz of the fear that she will fall weak and come back into his life again....he wanted to stop her but he knew she wouldn't listen to him...she was too stubborn...she had always been like that...but he was thinking of some solution and wasn't able to find any....
Meanwhile Sana had just immersed herself in work...she was working day and night...just to run from her own self she didn't want to even think about Sidhart shukla...she was staring a new life soon and wanted to completely forget him before that...but nomatter how hard she tried his memories would find their way back...but she would shrug them off "come on sana u can do this...itna mushkil nahi ha ...pehle bhi to kiya tha " but the thing was that he had not confessed his love before but now she knew for a fact that he also loves her so that was the difficult part...going back from a closed door is always easier than an open one.
One day when Sid came back from work he was extremely tired and wanted to rest but his sister told him that his mother wasn't feeling well...so he went straight to her room..
Sid:" ma kiya hua..are you okay" he sounded worried
Sm:"koi nai bacha just mild fever and bodyaches I think I will be fine after taking some rest..."but sid took her to the doctor..his mother and his sister meant the world to him and he didn't want to take any risk...
The general physician did her check up nd he told him to take her to an oncologist...Sidhart's whole world just collapsed infront of his eyes...he knew what going to an oncologist meant...with a beating heart he asked the doctor what was wrong
Dr:"look it might be nothing but in her age we shouldn't be taking any chances as there is a strong history of cancer in ur family...don't worry I just want to be 100 percent sure that's all.."
But he wasn't satisfied...all the doctors talked like that..may be he knows something he is not sharing...he was shattered from with in but had to compose himself for the sake of his sisters as he didn't want them to get worried ...but he didn't hide the truth from them...they also got worried but they had hope that everything is gonna be fine.
He took an appointment from the best oncologist in town and was given the time of the next day...he spent the whole night by his mother's bedside just holdingher hand afraid that she would leave him if he let her go...his sisters asked him to take some rest but he refused...being the youngest he was attached to his mother more than his sisters and he couldn't bare the thought of anything happening to her...but he didn't shed even a single tear ...some pains are so huge that u can't even let them out...
The next day the doctor did a detailed check up and performed some blood tests...he told sidhart that he will consult with his colleagues abroad as soon as the reports come and would tell him the final result by tomorrow hopefully...3 days had passed since he last slept he looked miserable his shave had grown...they came back home but he wasn't able to eat anything...he just went to his room wd out talking to anyone...
His sisters became worried about him...
"Agr aese chalta raha to ye khud beemar par jaye ga"
They needed someone who could bring him out of this situation as he wasn't listening to anyone so they decided to call sana...
Sana was at the gym when sidhart's sister called her...she was good friends wd both of them and both of them used to call her off and on so she wasn't surprised
Sana:"didi kese ho app ...I was missing u ...acha hua ap ne call kiya"
Sid's Sis:"sana I am not fine"
Sana:"kiya hua is everything okay?"
Ss told her everything
I know u guys dont talk much per mujhe uski bht chinta ha...he hasn't eaten or slept since the last 3 days...I want him to take some rest before tomorrow so that God forbid agr koi buri khaber hui to wo usko seh sake" her voice trembled at the end..
Sana:"didi ap khud ko sambhalo...sab thek hoga aor ap chinta mat karo mein aa rahi hn..
She also felt extremely sad as she considered sid's mother as her own mother but she had to be strong...she changed and went directly to sidhart's home.
First she went to see his mother...she was feeling fine now ...after a while she went towards sid's room...she opened the door ...the lights were off...she switched on the button...he was awake just lying on the bed... staring in space...her heart broke seeing him in that situation...she knew how much he loved his mother and how he must be feeling...
She had read somewhere ..."Living in the fear of unknown is similar to dying a thousand times"
She slowly went and stood besides him and called him:"sidhart"
No reply
She just slowly swept her hand in his hair
"Sid" she called him again
Sid:"Go away shehnaaz...I want to stay alone plz" and he shrugged off her hand...
Sana didn't say anything just sat beside him on the bed and just hugged him...he didn't hug her back but she just stayed like that holding him tight...it was her way of showing him that he is not alone...sidhart just closed his burning eyes...and just like that all his fears vanished...it was like that hug soothed all his wounds...he slowly hugged her back and dug his face in her neck ...soon that hug tightened...he felt miserable these past few days cz he was not able to let his emotions out...there was noone infornt of whom he could let his heart out...
Sana just kept patting his back...she could feel tears falling on her neck...he was crying...she let him cry ...just sat there quietly holding him close to her...
After a long time she called him
Sana:"Sidhart...sab thek ho jaye ga...tu ku chinta ker raha ha...wo nahi jayen gi tujhe chor ker..mera man kehta ha.
Sidhart in a low voice:"promise ker" he just seemed like a child...
Sana held his face in her hand wipped out his tears...:"Han promise" tujhe pta ha na meri intuitions kabhi ghalat nahi hoti...ab tu ja jake naha ke aa mein tere liye khana lati hn..
Sid:"man nahi ha yaar"
Sana held his hand and stood up:"acha chal tu naha to le fir khane ka man bhi ho jaye ga...chal uth ja...she pushed him in the bathroom and went to the kitchen she warmed food for him when she came back he was coming out from the washroom she took the towel from his hand and dried his hair...she was pampering him like a child cz she knew he needed someone to be wd him right now so that his mind is diverted from those dreadful thoughts...
He didn't want to eat but she forcefully made him eat ...
She was making bites for him and putting in his mouth...after one or two bites he felt the hunger as he hadn't eaten anything for a long time...
When he finished the meal she gave him painkillers...
Sid just looked at her with thankfulness in his eyes as his head was killing him...
Sana:"Chal ab so ja thori der"
Sid:"neend nahi aye gi"
Sana:"Sidhart dekh tu agr sari raat jagta rahe ga to bhi kal ki reports ko badal nahi sakta ...to kiya faida khud ko takleef dene ka...chal aa ja mein tujhe sulati hn and she climbed on the bed wd him...
He turned towards her and hugged her...while she ran her fingers through his hair...
Sid:"Sana agr mein so jaun to bhi tu subah tak yahen ruke gi?"
Sana:"don't worry sidhart jab tak aunty ki reports nahi aa jati mein yahen hn tere pass ab so ja ...mein kahen nahi ja rahi"
And soon he fell asleep.
Sana just kept staring at his face...sid un logon mein se tha jo jab kisi ko pyar krte hn to puri shidat se karte hn...she could see how broken he was at the thought of losing his mother....that was the reason he stayed away from love...
When he woke up in the morning he saw sana sleeping next to him her one hand still lying on his head...he just felt so thankfull to God for bringing such a person in his life who could understand what he wanted even wd out saying a word...
He stood up got ready he was feeling good cz of the sleep...
Sana woke up and saw him getting ready she smiled at him and he smiled back..
All of them went to see the doctor...
Sana held sid's hand while the doctor was about to tell the results
Dr:"We were worried but thankfully all the results are negative ...she is absolutely fine...
They all were extremely relieved to hear that...
Sana came wd them back home and they all celebrated by having a dinner together....
It was late when sana said she should leave now sidhart came to the door with her...
Sid:"let me drop u"
Sana:"mein pehle hi driver ko bol diya tha to pick me up...I want u to stay wd ur mother..."
Before she could leave sid hugged her...
Sid:"thanku sana for everything "
Sana just smiled:"sid tujhe pta ha na u are my family even if we are not together ...just remember I am always just a phone call away...jab bhi tujhe lge tujhe meri zarurat ha just call me...okay"
And she gently kissed his cheek and left ...
It was that moment when sid realized that he didn't deserve her...life had given him the chance to be with the most beautiful person forever and he missed that chance...

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