Comedy Night

Steve Hawks : Gossip

Team McDuck ended up eating and drinking everything they had in front of the cushions ( in pjs, of course ) while the flamboyant intro of Comedy Gold Night played on the screen. Then the camera cut to thousands of fancily dressed people sitting on the red velvet audience chairs, cheering, drinking smoothies and eating popcorn.

A tall male seagull with black and white hair and muscular body appeared on stage, followed by a lovely female Venezuelan tropical bird with dark hair. Team McDuck cheered loudly as they know who those famous hosts are.

' GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GERMS!!' the male seagull screamed in an urbane voice, and the crowd went wild ' THIS IS JIMMY SEAGULL!'

' AND THIS IS ANITA RAMIREZ!' the female troupial bird hollered.

' WELCOME TO THE ANNUAL COMEDY GOLD NIGHT!!!' the two hosts screamed, and the crowd went completely wild.

' Man, tonight's gonna be a wild night! We have a huge movie star, an ENORMOUSLY popular social media king, AND a female stand up comedian this year!' Jimmy guffawed.

' Wait - is it?' Dewey gleamed.

' It has to be!' Gosalyn squealed hysterically.

' Jiminy Crickets. ' Gyro groaned and face palmed. BOYD, who was happily licking a lollipop, face palmed too.

' You're right, Jimmy!' Anita crowed ' And tonight, we have some amazing guests in the audience, including Ms. Glamour, Chanel Beaks, Narcissa Swann, and the ice hockey superstar, Anastasia Pavlova and figure skating world champion Yuzuru Kitaro!!'

The audience went into a screaming frenzy as a sharp white spotlight casted down on a certain row featured all te mentioned guests. Ms Glamour, Yuzuru, Anastasia, Chanel and Narcissa were quite startled, but they all stood up, waved at the screaming crowd, and bowed.

Yuzuru is a breathtakingly handsome Japanese paradise fly catcher with slick an award winning smile. His Russian girlfriend, Anastasia, is a beautiful trumpeter swan with dark purple hair. Anastasia is also one of Narcissa's maternal younger cousins from Russia.

Back at McDuck Manor, Goldie was shocked as everyone else ( save Scrooge, who was just as shocked ) started screaming and jumping up and down. Fenton, Esmeralda and Panchito screamed ' DIOS MIO!'. Jose and Rosinha did a little samba. Donald, Della and Daisy screamed ' HOT DIGGITY DOG!'. The kids started jumping up and down the cushions. The rest were just fan screaming and shouting.

' Curse me kilts ' Scrooge grumbled as Goldie patted him comfortingly on the shoulder.

When all the screaming died down, Jimmy guffawed ' Wow, the enthusiasm from the crowd is sensational! Who's first, Anita?'

' Our first performer, ' Anita announced melodramatically ' Is a LIVING LEGEND. With a square haircut, Texan accent and pin striped suit, he had slayed the comedy scene since the age of barely 19 in Hollywood Bowl. Please welcome, STEVE HAWKS!!'

All hell broke loose at the stadium as a tall, aged yet still handsome hawk with a little round belly, square hair cut and a thick moustache sauntered the stage in a dark blue pinstripes suit. He was grinning ear to ear as he shouted hello to the wild crowd, all the while I Feel Good was playing. When he saw his wife Viola Kutcher Hawks, a very handsome female pheasant, he winked and blew her a kiss and Viola laughed, blushed and clapped even louder.

' SUP!' Steve howled, immediately silencing the crowd. ' PISSED OFF MAN, JUST LISTENED TO SO MUCH CHIT CHAT MAN. MAN, WHAT A LOT OF GOSSIP EVEN AT ONE BREAKFAST TIME!!'

The audience roared with laughter. Team McDuck screamed with guffaws. Even Scrooge and Goldie started howling.

' As we all know, Calistola is hailed THE CRAZIEST STATE IN THE US- AND FOR A GOOD REASON! COME ON, CALISTOLANS, PUT YO HANDS IN THE AIR!'

All the Calistolans - born and bred or immigrants, raised their hands and cheered. Team McDuck started to do the same and cheer loudly. Meanwhile, Gosalyn and BOYD were stuffing their faces with Panchito and Esmeralda's special nacho dish, and the kids started hungrily munching on Fenton's cherry and apple pie. Gyro and Drake started furious biting on the kimbaps Drake made to feed a small army.

' AND DUCKBURG IS THE CENTRE OF ALL THE MADNESS. ' Steve explained loudly ' SEE WHEN YOU WAS UNDER THE HOT CALISTOLA SUJ EVERY SINGLW DARN DAY, YOU GOT YO BRAINS FRIED LIKE COUNTRY EGGS ON PANS!!!'

The audience and Team McDuck laughed so hard they nearly hurt their sides.

' See, I still remember the day my oldest son Will - he was at backstage btw,' Steve started. The crowd cheered ' He was only 12. He went to school with Mark Beaks, who was also backstage. ' The crowd cheered even louder. ' Anyway, he came home one day with his hip hop gear was like DADDY YOU HEARD WHAT HAPPENED!! SOME DUDE CAME TO SCHOOL WITH CHEESE IN HIS BOXERS!!'

Now everyone including Team McDuck were in hysterics.

' I was like YO SON, WHAT THE HELL YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?! And he went NU UH, DADDY! I'M TALKING REAL! I AINT LYING! I SWEAR! So, being a dad, I literally called the late great Randolph Beaks. He's the real legend of the mass media , y'all ' everyone cheered and teared up a little. Ms Glamour wiped a little tear and clapped, and Chanel comforted her mother by stroking her back. Narcissa did the same by whispering ' C'est si bon, Madame. Monsieur Beaks is definitely watching over you, Chanel and Mark ik heaven. '

It was only then Ms Glamour calmed down and continued to enjoy the show.

' So I rang him around three times. First time, his manager thought I was prank calling him, ' Steve grumbled, and everyone laughed. ' Now Randy and I were great pals, and we do prank calls a lot. The second time, he didnt even respond! The third time, he picked up he went ( Attempted Chicago accent ) YELLO! WHO'S THIS!'

As everyone started howling, Steve continued ' ITS ME! I Yelled STEVE HAWKS! He literally sighed - he was smoking a big fat cigar I tell ya - and he went OH, SURE BUD! SUP, MAN! And then I told him about the cheese undie thing and then ya know what he said? He said STEVE, YOU AINT THE ONLY ONE. MY LITTLE DEVIL ( AKA MARK ) HERE WOULD NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT EVER SINCE HE AND CHANEL CAME HOME. '

Now people are really loosing it. Some of the guests in the audience fell over. Others suffered stomach ache from laughing too hard. Chanel guffawed at the funny memory. Ms Glamour giggled like crazy. Narcissa, Yuzuru and Anastasia hollered ' FOR REAL!!!' And when the 3 saw Chanel and Ms Glamour nodding to.confirm the truth, they howled even louder and harder.

Steve continued to make people roar with laughter with even more gossip jokes. And Team McDuck were literally laughing for more than 5 minutes. Scrooge and Goldie laughed and laughed to the point they nearly peed on the spot and had to have a running race to the bathroom - much to everyone else's amusement. The kids were all screaming crazily. Indigo, Gyro and Ty were trying in vain to hold Lena, Violet and BOYD in place so that they wont smash things up. The 3 caballeros and their girlfriends were rolling over with tears and guffaws. It was a total mad scene in McDuck Manor.

' ANYWAY, IMMA PEACE OUT NOW, GUYS, ' Steve concluded his performance ' BUT THE NEXT PERFORMANCE WILL HAVE Y'ALL ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT! PLEASE WELCOME, HOLLYWOOD SUPERSTAR AND MY SON, WILL HAWKS!!!'