31: A Marks Meaning

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This isn't a moment or a trend, it's a movement to create a place so no one has to fear for their lives because of the color of their skin.

#BLACKLIVESMATTER*****"Why do you hate me so much?" It was a question that always sat on the tip of his tongue, always threatening to spill, whether it be a whisper or a scream of despair

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#BLACKLIVESMATTER
*****
"Why do you hate me so much?" It was a question that always sat on the tip of his tongue, always threatening to spill, whether it be a whisper or a scream of despair. Anytime he came to meet those dark amber eyes, that were so similar, and yet it was as if it was a completely different color. No. It was the look that always stayed within those eyes that no matter how much he studied and dissected them, he could never figure out what they were thinking. The meaning behind those eyes that slowly caused him to lose his mind.

"I don't hate you, you're my brother," it was such a simple reply that Ji-Ho couldn't help but laugh out. It was dry and bitter, just like the same look Chu-Hei always regarded him with.

"Then why are you so mean to me?" It was such a childish question, but it has always been impossible to ask her. It shouldn't be this way, he should be able to ask such a simple question to his older sister and yet it felt like he was breathing in poison that suffocated him every time he even thought about asking her, "You may not believe in soulmates, but I do. Does that make me so bad and pitiful in your eyes?" Soulmates were the very thing that was supposed to give you hope, to make all the cruel days of endurance worthwhile, with the reassurance that eventually someday you will meet the very person that will breathe life into you. To make it so one was not surviving, but was living, with their soulmate right beside them.

Yet Chu-Hei never believed in such things like that. While she never verbally disagreed with him, the look of contempt was always present when he began his speeches about soulmates to Sera. Chu-Hei always just stayed quiet, but Ji-Ho felt the look of disappointment and wanted to bash his head on the wall.

"Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you'll be happy with her? That you can see yourself smiling genuinely in the future with her by your side?" She always knew that was what made it more infuriating and exciting for Ji-Ho. That no matter how much he tried to hide, how much he perfected his perfect smile, being able to convince both his parents and Sera, and yet Chu-Hei was staring right through him. All the walls he built around himself seemed meaningless when confronting Chu-Hei.

"I know the age gap is weird, but I see her as a little sister."

He was so pathetic.

"Exactly, that's what I mean. If you were the same age then or in the future when she's older, would you love her? Not as a little sister, but as a lover."

"Don't do this to me, please Noona," where did his pride and dignity go?

It was all washed away the moment he decided to confront his big sister.

Ji-Ho should have been satisfied with the current state of things, to be content that even though Chu-Hei saw through him, as long as she never confronted him about him, he should have been fine. Yet, unconsciously, Ji-Ho was so desperate to have someone finally understand him, greedily and desperately wanted Chu-Hei to reveal all his deepest secrets he had buried, so he didn't have to do it himself. It only made the guilt in his mind swirl more viciously like there was a tornado in his head, tearing everything apart because all he does is use his sisters for his selfish needs.

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