Date Her Instead Vol. 2

Chapter Eight: A Girl Named Kanako

"In love..."

"In... love?"

"In love?!"

The words kept playing on loop in Haruna's mind as she ran. It was the only thing she could think about. Denial was met with the truth, uncertainty was met with clarity and the tangled mess of dizzying confusion that Haruna had felt seemed to have straightened itself out. And yet... Haruna continued to run. She wasn't sure what it was exactly she was trying to get away from. Was it Kanako? Her own feelings? The world?

No matter the answer, Haruna kept going, each breath pumped out of her lungs helping to push her farther and farther away from her inner conflict. Or so she thought. Eventually, Haruna began to run out of steam, soon slowing to a halt alongside a road surrounded by trees in seemingly the middle of nowhere.

"Damn it..." she said to herself. "I have no idea where I am now..." However, even if being lost should've been a pressing concern, it didn't take long for Haruna's emotions to catch up to her. They slammed into her like a wrecking ball, and she found herself dropping to her knees from a mix of both physical and mental exhaustion. "Why did I do that?" she wondered. "Why did I just run away?"

Truthfully, it had been because she was scared. Haruna knew that on some level, but to find a deep answer such as that would require some serious soul searching, and that was something she was in no mood to do. Instead, she focused on another point. "Isn't falling in love with someone supposed to be something that makes you happy?" Haruna thought back to when she had realized her feelings for Akio. Sure, she had been surprised, but after the initial shock wore off, she was over the moon. It felt like everything was fresh and new and that her feelings could carry her through any day.

But this time felt different. "Why do I feel... so miserable?" Haruna wondered. "Why... I want to be happy about this, but I just... I can't..." Slowly, Haruna's vision began to blur. New tears replaced the old and dried ones, rolling down her face and landing on her knees. "How did this even happen?" she said in a shaky voice. "This wasn't how it was supposed to go. I was going to be the one that Miyashita-kun would pick. All I had to do was convince him I could be a good girlfriend. All I had to do was pretend to go out with Kanako... How... How did I end up falling for her instead?!"

Haruna's words hung in the air, with no one but the trees around to listen. "I don't get it... What am I supposed to do now?! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE FEELINGS?!" Haruna screamed, her voice trembling with every syllable. "Damn it..." she cried. Her make-up began to run, creating faded black lines streaking down her cheeks and further helping to wash more off.

There Haruna sat, on the side of an empty road, in a dismantling and now-dirty yukata and ruined make-up, crying.

In all of Haruna's life, she had never felt more emotionally overwhelmed. The non-existent hate for Kanako that had once filled her. The joy of having her first crush on the boy she grew up with. The confusion she began to feel when she was forced to spend time with Kanako. The fading feelings for Akio. And finally, her heart leaping for not just someone else, but a girl no less.

In every sense of the word, Haruna was a mess. All she could do was sit where she was and wallow in her own despair. "I just... want to go home..." was all she could manage to say. After all, what else could she say? She had no idea how to make sense of this new realization of love. Hiding in her room certainly seemed more preferable compared to what she was doing.

For a moment, Haruna returned to more rational thought and wondered how she was going to get home. Looking behind her, she saw she had ran a fair ways away from the festival grounds. Not only that, but Haruna was pretty sure that the road she was on wasn't a well-travelled one. "Great. Just great," she said, irritated at her own rashness. "Whatever. I'd rather just sit here anyways..." And with that thought, Haruna went back to her own turmoil.