Chapter Twenty-Four: Changing

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"I'm home," Haruna called as she walked through her front door. "Oh, welcome back," her father said as he leaned out into the front hallway. "Did you have fun on your trip?" Haruna stared blankly, thinking about everything that had happened. "...I'm not sure if you could call it fun." "Huh? What does that mean?" her father asked, but Haruna ignored him, dragging her bags up the stairs along with herself.

Getting into her room, Haruna shut the door behind her and sighed. "I'm exhausted," she said to no one. Before she could get much further than the threshold, Haruna felt her phone buzz. She set her bags down and looked at the device, seeing that Chiyo was the one who had sent a message.

The message turned out to be a picture of the whole group after dinner on their first day of the camping trip. "Guess this was before everything got so nuts," Haruna muttered. Constant fighting with Michi, Kanako getting lost in the woods, and Mayu finding out about Haruna's feelings for Kanako had all contributed to Haruna's current tiredness. "I can't believe how much happened in just five days..." Haruna thought as she sat down on her bed.

First there was all the fighting with Michi. "It's like she just can't leave me alone," Haruna thought. "Any chance she gets she makes some stupid comment. I wish she'd just shut up." Unfortunately, for as much as Haruna wished that to be, she knew it was unlikely. In fact, it was more likely that she'd be seeing even more of Michi in the coming months. "What was the deal with that 'declaration' of hers anyways? What the hell did she even mean by that?" Haruna wondered. "Fukuhara-san said she'd 'free' Kanako from me, but what is she going to do? I have no idea..."

Thinking about things that Haruna was unsure about made her wonder about Mayu. "Kawaguchi-san said she wouldn't tell anyone, but it's kind of hard to believe someone that looks that out of it." At the time, Mayu had agreed to keep Haruna's feelings a secret, but the way she had been acting was anything but reassuring. "Her face reminded me of robots in movies when their systems get overloaded."

Honestly, Haruna wasn't overly concerned about Mayu saying anything. Chances were, even if she did, Kanako wouldn't believe her. "...Putting it that way kind of hurts," Haruna thought. She didn't really like to admit it, but she knew how much of an uphill battle it'd be to get Kanako to notice her feelings. Adding in the fact that both Haruna and Kanako had gotten used to shrugging off the rumors that they were dating already was also going to make Haruna's task that much harder.

Haruna fell back onto her bed, leaving her legs dangling off the end. "Ugh... why couldn't I just fall in love in a normal way?" she groaned. "Well, I guess there was Miyashita-kun... but he's the one who got me into this mess! Kind of..." Haruna laid silently for a moment. "It's not like I wish I hadn't fallen in love with Kanako... I mean, I think it's one of the best things I've ever done, but... Sometimes it feels like I might not be able to tell Kanako how I really feel."

It was then that Haruna remembered the night in the woods. She had said all sorts of things and had even gone as far as embracing Kanako tightly. Haruna could feel her face burning up. "Agh, that was so embarrassing!" she screamed into a pillow. "Why did I even do that?! That was so unlike me!" After freaking out for a moment, Haruna thought deeper about that time. "She was so small and soft..." Haruna muttered. She could still remember what it had felt like to hold Kanako. "It'd be nice... if we could do stuff like that a lot more..." she thought. "...Maybe I should've confessed then. I didn't really think I was ready, but looking at it now, that would've been the perfect opportunity..."

Regret began to fill Haruna's mind. "Will I ever get another chance like that again? It's not like I'm that good at getting myself into situations like that. Who knows if I'll ever be able to just stand in front of Kanako and confess?" In the back of Haruna's mind, she wondered what the difference was between preparing herself to confess to Akio and her current predicament. Was it because she had had a lot more time to think about how and when she'd confess to the boy she had grown up with? Was it because Kanako is a girl? Or, was it because Haruna was that much more in love with Kanako than she ever had been with Akio?

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