When The Fat Girl Gets Skinny ✔

Present 14

My body was still pumping with adrenaline as I stepped off the stage. The poem was short, but I wanted it that way. The loud applause from the audience brought a smile to my face.

"That was amazing!" Rueben pulled me into him, kissing me passionately.

"Thank you!" I smiled. It felt weird to finally say those things out loud, especially to an audience of strangers, but it felt so good too. Like I was finally freeing myself from the internalized hate I've been subjecting myself to for so long.

We left after a couple more people performed, heading to the burger joint a few blocks away. Rueben had borrowed Devin's car for the night so we had more freedom to move around.

"I can't believe you have been feeling that way," Rueben said to me. We were currently sitting at one of the window booths waiting for our food.

I shrugged. "That's what years of fat shaming does to a person. In all honesty, I might have sugar coated it a bit. My weight loss journey was hell."

Rueben looked eyed me in surprise. "Really?"

"Don't look so shocked. Losing weight isn't a walk in the park. Especially when you're not doing it for yourself." I paused thoughtfully. "I think that was the worst part of it all. I did it for other people. I never had a problem with my self image until people began telling I was supposed to."

Rueben remained quiet, his face painted in guilt. After a few moments he spoke. "I'm sorry, Maya. I was one of the people who added to your pain. I was never actively involved, but I didn't stop it which was worse."

I smiled at him. "You eventually came around. We are all young, dumb teenagers. I won't hold it against you for following your friends. The important thing is you saw your error and made an effort to change it. That's all I can hope for people like him."

I didn't have to say his name for us to know who I was talking about. We both knew. Trent was someone who'd probably never accept that they're toxic. It's unfortunate, but I can only hope he'd realize that he's a shitty person and try to change.

But the damage is still done.

Our food came which was a welcome relief from the intensity of our conversation. For the first time in a long time, when I looked down at the burger in front of me, all I saw was a burger. I saw food for what it was... food. Not additional weight, not ten more sets of crunches, not excess calories, just food.

That's all it is. Food.

And it is not my enemy.

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